not sure i can handle another child with this anxiety and terrible obsessive thoughts
hello everyone, im 36 years old and have a 3 year old daughter. i have had bad anxiety and obsessive thoughts and some depression since i was pregnant for my daughter. now i just found out that i have bad endometriosis and my obgyn said that either we get pregnant now or i have to take 2 injections of some drug that stops your period, therefore helping the endometriosis. anyway my problem is that we decided to get pregnant since we dont want our daughter to be an only child, but i am really having doubts on if i will be able to raise another child. i am truely afraid that i will not be able to cope and have to be hospitalized or loose my mind. i dont want to do anything to hurt my daughter that is here now and needs me but if im gonna have another child i really feel like its now or never because of my age and the endometriosis wich can cause infertility i hear. so please i just need some advise as to wether or not im doing the right thing by deciding to go ahead with getting pregnant even though i have really bad anxiety, depression and auful thoughts about not wanting kids and not being able to do all the work that goes into taking care of them. i just dont know if i'll be able to cope and i am scared. any advice will be great. thanx
The advice given to you from the person above me is truly horrible, so I'm going to throw my 2 cents into this.
It all comes down to what you and your husband want. If you really want another child, you should have another child. Don't let anxiety and scary obsessive thoughts stand in the way of the future you want to have for you and your family. The truth is, you are never going to "flip out" and lose your mind. You are never going to end up in the hospital. I promise you. Usually those thoughts are just a beautiful distraction from something you don't want to think about or they become so habitual and routine, it's hard to end the vicious cycle. You can get better and there is lots of help out there for anxiety disorders, don't let it own you and own your future. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother and you've already raised a baby once, you can do it again! It really just comes down to what you truly want, like I said.
It all comes down to what you and your husband want. If you really want another child, you should have another child. Don't let anxiety and scary obsessive thoughts stand in the way of the future you want to have for you and your family. The truth is, you are never going to "flip out" and lose your mind. You are never going to end up in the hospital. I promise you. Usually those thoughts are just a beautiful distraction from something you don't want to think about or they become so habitual and routine, it's hard to end the vicious cycle. You can get better and there is lots of help out there for anxiety disorders, don't let it own you and own your future. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother and you've already raised a baby once, you can do it again! It really just comes down to what you truly want, like I said.
hugs&kisses,
Karilynn
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert
"How you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. And, so it is with life, which for many of us becomes one big test followed by one big lesson. In the end, it all comes down to one word: grace. It's how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, darkness and the light."
Karilynn
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert
"How you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. And, so it is with life, which for many of us becomes one big test followed by one big lesson. In the end, it all comes down to one word: grace. It's how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, darkness and the light."
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**Its a New Day**
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 2:00 am
WOW!!!!!! Honestly in all of my time here that first person that advised you gave the WORST advice I have ever seen in relation to anything, and it is very obvious that they have no children. You can not choose how many children you have on "what-ifs" or you will lose the opportunity and regret it later. If you love your child you will love your next child just as much! You will not go crazy or freak out!! You have to decide with your husband and go for it, you have his support and your daughter will love being a big sister! I went through this with 2 children and they are fine!!! Hope this helps, and on behalf of the person that gave you such bad advice, I am truly sorry and appalled!!!
Chrystal
Chrystal
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bevhembree
- Posts: 275
- Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:44 am
Make sure this is something YOU WANT to do. Don't let anxiety take control of your decision. Do you know where your anxiety is coming from? Are you on any medications for anxiety and depression? How far are you in this program, and is it helping you? Do you work outside the home, or stay at home with your child? (That's where my anxiety was coming from after years of working to then being home alone with a baby all day.)
I think children are wonderful, and I wish I could have another, so if you feel strongly that if another is right for you, then you have to go with your heart or you'll regret it for years to come.
But let's work on the anxiety and obsessive thoughts in the mean time. Tell us more so that we can try to give advice and help. God bless. Beverly
I think children are wonderful, and I wish I could have another, so if you feel strongly that if another is right for you, then you have to go with your heart or you'll regret it for years to come.
But let's work on the anxiety and obsessive thoughts in the mean time. Tell us more so that we can try to give advice and help. God bless. Beverly
"Here and happy because of my three little angels- Marie, Chad and Cady."
Catdr.....boy I could smack the person that gave you that horrible advice in the first post.
First off you obviously desire more children you say so in your post as well as you innerconflict its not that you dont want more your afraid. Its very natural to feel afraid adding another person to your responsibility list is a big change. I felt this as well. I was very anxious during the pregancy for my first child and although I had great support I did not overcome my anxiety and it followed me daily. I didnt want my son to be an only child and I thought how on earth will I ever be able to do this again and then raise two...when one was so hard for me with the anxiety?
But I did go ahead and have another. It was hard but I did it. I leaned on the people I could and I tried really hard to do the best I could to control my thoughts and anxiety. I did it. My second child was very different than the first. She was much more irritable she never slept through the night till she was 2 1/2 years old and there were many nights I silently wondered what did I do? How will I do this? But I have to tell you I wouldnt change if for the world!!!!!! She is a joy and I love her deeply. She completes our family perfectly. It was worth all the adjustments and it helped me to grow a bit and helped me to believe in myself a little bit more than I used to.
You can do it. The scary thoughts the depression are just feelings. It is overwhelming to have more children but its also a wonderfull thing. They play together (freeing your time a bit)like right now my kids are downstairs playing in the basement. If they didnt have eachother I would have to the one ALWAYS entertaining or setting play dates.
Its not a terrible thing. Your daughter will help you little girls love to help mommie. It will be a great bonding experience for you and her as well.
I say go for it. Life is to LIVE.......Enjoy it while you can, embrace every gift you are given. If you can have another child and want one then by all means do it....you will always have your program and this chat full of friends to help you through those thoughts.
If you want to pm me and we could exchange some emails or numbers I would love to help support you through this! Because I understand your fear and I know you can do it!!!!!!
Annette aka Dodger
First off you obviously desire more children you say so in your post as well as you innerconflict its not that you dont want more your afraid. Its very natural to feel afraid adding another person to your responsibility list is a big change. I felt this as well. I was very anxious during the pregancy for my first child and although I had great support I did not overcome my anxiety and it followed me daily. I didnt want my son to be an only child and I thought how on earth will I ever be able to do this again and then raise two...when one was so hard for me with the anxiety?
But I did go ahead and have another. It was hard but I did it. I leaned on the people I could and I tried really hard to do the best I could to control my thoughts and anxiety. I did it. My second child was very different than the first. She was much more irritable she never slept through the night till she was 2 1/2 years old and there were many nights I silently wondered what did I do? How will I do this? But I have to tell you I wouldnt change if for the world!!!!!! She is a joy and I love her deeply. She completes our family perfectly. It was worth all the adjustments and it helped me to grow a bit and helped me to believe in myself a little bit more than I used to.
You can do it. The scary thoughts the depression are just feelings. It is overwhelming to have more children but its also a wonderfull thing. They play together (freeing your time a bit)like right now my kids are downstairs playing in the basement. If they didnt have eachother I would have to the one ALWAYS entertaining or setting play dates.
Its not a terrible thing. Your daughter will help you little girls love to help mommie. It will be a great bonding experience for you and her as well.
I say go for it. Life is to LIVE.......Enjoy it while you can, embrace every gift you are given. If you can have another child and want one then by all means do it....you will always have your program and this chat full of friends to help you through those thoughts.
If you want to pm me and we could exchange some emails or numbers I would love to help support you through this! Because I understand your fear and I know you can do it!!!!!!
Annette aka Dodger
catdr71, I'll just echo others and say that the decision is yours to make but i do feel you are basing your decision on the wrong criteria. Don't let anxiety make any decisions for you, especially one this important.
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Instead of wishing physical harm is bestowed upon our first replier, why not ask if she arrived at her conclusion via personal experience? I believe she has children as i remember her speaking of grandchildren. And keep the cracks to a minimum. You want Carolyn to have to come in here and bust it up? Gawd, you guys have NO compassion. Just me me me all the time.
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Instead of wishing physical harm is bestowed upon our first replier, why not ask if she arrived at her conclusion via personal experience? I believe she has children as i remember her speaking of grandchildren. And keep the cracks to a minimum. You want Carolyn to have to come in here and bust it up? Gawd, you guys have NO compassion. Just me me me all the time.
Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
~John F. Kennedy
~John F. Kennedy
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spunkylaydee
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:45 am
I abhor Malikye for saying that! It is not helpful and conducive to anything, and what's more IT'S FALSE!!!!
I AM A TWIN, and let me tell you, my Mum has axiety and she coped fine!! If you have one already you have invaluble experience and will be a great Mom the second time around!! Plus your current child will not be an only child.
I think if you wish to expand your family unit GO FOR IT otherwise you'll wonder What if???
I AM A TWIN, and let me tell you, my Mum has axiety and she coped fine!! If you have one already you have invaluble experience and will be a great Mom the second time around!! Plus your current child will not be an only child.
I think if you wish to expand your family unit GO FOR IT otherwise you'll wonder What if???
I agree fully with Craw. It's your decision if you want another child. Anxiety sometimes make you feel as though you can't trust your own decisions. Don't let anxiety be the judge.
Another thing.
Why are you all attacking Malikye for stating an opinion. Everyone should be able to do that without everyone joing in on the attack. I can see if malikye was trying to pesonally attack someone. That is not the case here. You all will make newcomers afraid to voice an opinion.
DeeDee.
Another thing.
Why are you all attacking Malikye for stating an opinion. Everyone should be able to do that without everyone joing in on the attack. I can see if malikye was trying to pesonally attack someone. That is not the case here. You all will make newcomers afraid to voice an opinion.
DeeDee.