first day at kindergarten drama

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:31 pm

Yeah for you! It is SOOOO hard to see our kids cry isn't it? There was a child in my son's class this year who cried every day until the last 2 months of the school year! My son told me that once the boy bolted out the door and the poor teacher had to run out and yell for another teacher to watch her class. Crazy! I would see the poor parents waiting in the hallway after dropping their son off and I overheard them say once that they would wait for about an hour to make sure he was OK. I'd never heard of a kid doing that, I think maybe he could have waited another year? Yeah, I figure if it doesn't work out with our daughter, it's no big deal. LOTS Of kids cry the first day, so your son wasn't abnormal at all. I'm sure he will love it. Our son loved Kindergarten and has said several times this summer that he misses school!

Take care and great job on the under-reacting, it is so hard to do when our babies are concerned!

Ocean

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:40 am

HI...

It has been a long time since mine started Kindergarten....but I remember the "trauma"...and the guilt. I can promise you that you are doing the right stuff and just the fact that you are so sensitive and aware of yourself will garantee he will be OK...and you are EXACTLY right....YOU CANNOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF! I have done that for far too many years and wasted important energy on that anxiety when I should have focused on my health and my family.....so, just be patient with yourself...and with him....You will be fine...and it is also blatantly apparent what a good mom you are...and you need to remember that every single day....no matter what is happening around you.

JChick
My son started kindergarten this morning (it is a year-round school). He was screaming and crying when I left! He wanted me to stay there the whole day. I felt terrible. He doesn't turn 5 until September, and he is very shy. He has been in preschool all his life, and we did everything we could think of (visiting the school, observing, reading books about kindergarten) to help with this transition, but I fear because he is so shy and he was definitely nervous that he will end up with anxiety too. But I try to tell myself that I don't know what the future will bring, and at least I have some skills I can pass on to him (even though I don't feel 100% recovered, I am doing OK). It is also hard not to second guess myself that we should have waited a year and sent him to kindergarten when he is almost 6, as seems to be the trend these days. He is above average academically, though, so that didn't seem to be the right thing to do. I guess I can't make a determination based on the first morning's drop-off. We'll see what happens![/QUOTE]

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:48 am

Well, my son refused to get on the bus this morning. He is so scared and sad! I guess that is normal. The open house on Friday where we met his teacher went pretty horribly. He is placed with the same teacher that he had his "practice" day with, which is a good thing in the end. BUT there was a screw up and he was on the class roster for two different classes. We saw the list for the wrong class first, and told him about that, and went to the room, and saw that his best friend in the whole entire world was in that other class. He got a big smile when he heard about it, THEN I found out about the mix-up and he was very upset. He kept repeating that he was supposed to be in the other class, and he wouldn't go in the room and he cried a lot. I am sad because he feels so bad, and I think it is going to take a long time until he feels comfortable. Oh well. I have to trust that he will be OK.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:51 am

jchick: You are SO right about "trauma" and guilt. I had first labeled my post "first day at kindergarten trauma" but I realize the importance of not exaggerating and I realized it wasn't really a trauma, thought it certainly feels like it! We all need to patient with each other here...it will probably take several weeks and I won't expect it to be fine right away.

Thank you all for your support.

Ashlynn · Post by **Ashlynn** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 3:18 am

(((((((((Sleeplessmom)))))))))),

I can feel your pain! I'm so sorry this is hard right now! A mix up doesn't help either. You may be able to get him into the other class if you think it would really help him. I know many parents in my son's class last year got their children into his class since it was a morning class. There were 26 kids in his class (with NO aid, the poor teacher!) and only 18 in the afternoon class. Talk with an administrator and explain the situation and they may be able to switch him back in esp since it's early in the year.
Whatever happens, I'm sure it will get easier for both of you!

Take care and keep us updated!

Ocean

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:04 pm

An update: things are going fairly well, considering where we were one week ago. My son still refuses to get on the bus to go to school, but he is taking it home just fine and the teacher says he is fine at school and not to worry! (those were his exact words...is it THAT obvious?!) This was day 2 of the regular schedule, and the room is packed with parents dropping off...no wonder he is overwhelmed. I heard that about 15 minutes after the parents leave he is fine. I am so relieved! Not too long ago, it took him an entire hour at his best friend's birthday party to feel comfortable enough to jump in, and then he had a blast. So I expect, now, that it will take him a while to feel comfortable. He was sobbing this morning on my lap saying "and no one even told me their names!" (just tore my heart out) then he came home and said he had made a friend! I am very happy with his current teacher, and the old mix-up seems to have been forgotten. Whew.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 05, 2008 6:02 pm

I was exactly the same when I was in kindergarten! With a lot of trial and error, not to mention my mother's patience, my mom helped take a lot of my separation anxiety away. One, she cut out a piece of my blankie and pinned it to the inside of my shirt. Every time I was sad she told me to rub it. Two, she let me where her watch to school to help ease me during nap time. The noise helped me think of her. Just some tricks that might help your little boy as well.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:51 pm

I came to this post late. I really feel for what you are going through. My son also had a very hard time with kindergarten for most of the 9 months he went. He cried a lot and at times he was crying when I came to pick him up in the afternoon. What I didn't know was that the older Dad who ran the school raised his voice some with the kids and this scared my son. I can remember there were a few times we didn't make him go, he stayed with me while I worked, self employed. What's strange is I don't recall him telling us why he didn't want to go. He may have, but if he did I have forgotten. If your child continues to have trouble I would try to talk with him about why he's upset. There could be a legitimate reason.

Once my son entered elementary school he seemed to adjust. He's 24 now and graduated with a BS degree in Biology last year with an excellent GPA. He's now finished one year of his Masters in Bio-Chem and is making all As and Bs and is a teaching assistant paying his own bills for rent, food, and gas. He really has good, healthy self esteem. I see no lasting effects of that trying time. Thank God.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 06, 2008 1:51 am

krtasch: Those are great ideas! I hadn't thought about doing anything like that. He has been in school for over two weeks now, and is doing great BUT our big problem is that he still won't get on the bus in the morning. He takes it home just fine, but he says he is afraid to leave me and Daddy in the mornings. He stands at the bus stop but freaks out when it arrives. So he is usually a little sad when my husband drops him off at school, but then he is perfectly fine and seems to like school OK. He found a buddy the second day, and I think that has helped him a lot. Every day he acts like he will try to get on the bus, but he freezes when it is almost time. He asked if I could walk him on the bus, but I will think hard about what he could also take with him. Thanks!

Laura V · Post by **Laura V** » Wed Aug 06, 2008 2:00 am

Don: Thank you for your input. You can see from my post to krtasch that my son has adjusted pretty well, except for this morning bus glitch. I am trying to stay positive -- all things considered, this is a minor thing! I am sorry your son had such a hard time, and I worry about my son because it is clearly nervousness and anxiety. He said last week that he would be nervous the first day in every grade, and I said "well that is normal, everyone feels a little nervous the first day of school." And he said: "NO...not a little nervous, A LOT nervous"! He is not yet 5! But I am grateful I have skills to teach him, and he is able to articulate his feelings, so I suppose that is good. It is GREAT to hear that your son is doing so well as an adult and secure in his self-esteem. You obviously are a good Dad.