I stay home with a 3 year old and a 5 year old and I feel like I'm going crazy. I had severe post partum depression after both were born and some panic attacks and anxiety after the youngest that went away with medication. I have been on and off medication for 2 years because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I saw three different pyschiatrists and the last one now had me on medication for bipolar disorder because I have mood swings up and down. Sometimes I feel okay and other times I feel depressed.
Then all of a sudden I got the flu and the anxiety came back with it, maybe just because the flu symptoms are actually similar for me. The flu went away but the symptoms didn’t. Now I was being hit randomly with panic attacks while also having constant horrible general anxiety.
But I'm not scared to drive, or go out (although I have worked through some social anxiety on my own), I can do pretty much anything and there doesn’t seem to be much reason for my anxiety.
So I started taking Prozac and the anxiety slowly tapered off, it was a little less every day and now is about 70% better I think.
But it is being home that scares me. Not going out, I feel anxious at the thought of doing anything I normally enjoy doing, I don’t want to do anything with my kids because it makes me feel anxious. At just the thought of reading them a book, I get that horrible sick feeling in my stomach. They have been watching much more tv than usual and I feel horribly guilty, but the thought of doing anything with them makes me feel sick, I’m not even eating much when I normally way overeat. Why would I feel anxious to do things I normally enjoy doing? I don’t want to be with my kids, I don’t want to be alone! I don’t understand.
I used to anticipate them going to bed so I could have time alone, but now when they go to sleep I feel anxious to be alone. My parents take them every weekend and I used to enjoy that time, but now I feel so anxious and horrible I end up going with them because I’m too scared to stay home alone (my husband works).
I am following the program and I’m on lesson 3, and even the relaxation tape and breathing exercises that used to help me feel relaxed make me anxious. The thought of writing in my journal or tracking my thoughts makes me want to throw up. I thought I was doing really well tracking my thoughts. And all of a sudden I feel way more emotional, everything makes me feel like crying, even when I actually feel happy about something, I want to cry. Why is this happening?
Program was helping, now I feel anxious about it too
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Guest
Aurora,
I wish I could come up with one simple solution for you! Bless your heart!
Maybe you are looking at the WHOLE program and the WHOLE lot of problems and situations you have going on at one time and THAT is just too big to deal with. Instead of thinking about how you're not journaling, not using the relaxation cd, not reading to your kids, not staying alone, etc., etc., etc. Maybe try goal-setting with just ONE positive thing that you will do today. Forget about the rest. I mean, I know you can't forget about your kids, but don't put so much pressure on yourself! OK - so them watching more TV than usual is not optimal, but it's not going to be forever. It's just for today. (And maybe for tomorrow, but you can deal with that tomorrow...one day at a time!)
Maybe say to yourself...today I am going to read one book, less than 10 pages to my kids. Or today I am going to walk outside and look for flowers with my kids for 15 minutes. Or today I am going to get a bubble bath when my husband gets home (he can watch the kids!) for 20 minutes.
Maybe setting and achieving those little goals...and GIVING YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK AND GOOD CREDIT FOR DOING IT!!!...will help you set two goals in a few days...and then three...and then...but don't think about that right now. Deal with, as Lucinda says, the precious present moment.
You deserve a good life and you can create it for yourself...just don't try to build Rome in a day!
If you need us...we are here! Vent and post out your problems and frustration anytime...it really does make us depressed/anxious types feel better!
Hang in there! HUGS!!!
Blessings,
Dawn
I wish I could come up with one simple solution for you! Bless your heart!
Maybe you are looking at the WHOLE program and the WHOLE lot of problems and situations you have going on at one time and THAT is just too big to deal with. Instead of thinking about how you're not journaling, not using the relaxation cd, not reading to your kids, not staying alone, etc., etc., etc. Maybe try goal-setting with just ONE positive thing that you will do today. Forget about the rest. I mean, I know you can't forget about your kids, but don't put so much pressure on yourself! OK - so them watching more TV than usual is not optimal, but it's not going to be forever. It's just for today. (And maybe for tomorrow, but you can deal with that tomorrow...one day at a time!)
Maybe say to yourself...today I am going to read one book, less than 10 pages to my kids. Or today I am going to walk outside and look for flowers with my kids for 15 minutes. Or today I am going to get a bubble bath when my husband gets home (he can watch the kids!) for 20 minutes.
Maybe setting and achieving those little goals...and GIVING YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK AND GOOD CREDIT FOR DOING IT!!!...will help you set two goals in a few days...and then three...and then...but don't think about that right now. Deal with, as Lucinda says, the precious present moment.
You deserve a good life and you can create it for yourself...just don't try to build Rome in a day!
If you need us...we are here! Vent and post out your problems and frustration anytime...it really does make us depressed/anxious types feel better!
Hang in there! HUGS!!!
Blessings,
Dawn
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Sit-N-Spin
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:17 pm
Don't forget that you are the cause of your anxiety. I think that thought will help a lot here. Sometimes when I am trying something new I convience myself that I am failing because I'm really afraid to try. I know you can do it.
Try starting over at the begining. Talk to your husband or a good friend about how you feel also be aware that if you don't eat well it can cause anxiety too worsen. I tend not to eat when I'm upset and that usually makes me worse. Eat small healthy meals. Tell yourself it's OK if I'm not immediately "better" We all have bad times. I just got through a really bad one if I can work through it you can too. It will get better!
HUGS,
Jan
Try starting over at the begining. Talk to your husband or a good friend about how you feel also be aware that if you don't eat well it can cause anxiety too worsen. I tend not to eat when I'm upset and that usually makes me worse. Eat small healthy meals. Tell yourself it's OK if I'm not immediately "better" We all have bad times. I just got through a really bad one if I can work through it you can too. It will get better!
HUGS,
Jan
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Guest
It's O.K. to feel anxiety right now but put it in it's place. Today, I have just recieved the program but have been working on this myself for about a month. I'm excited and can share this with you. Two months ago while having a hernia examination my blood pressure was 185/115. Wow! Talk about anxiety! That day I prayed to GOD to help me once and for all because I was killing myself with stress. I saw the infomercial on this and asked for more info. I searched vigorously for negative feedback and experiences with this program because I couldn't believe I could live my life fully again. Since that time, I have met, talked and shared my experiences with many friends who also are much like myself and you. In martial arts, KATA is performed beginning with the basic stance. Every KATA thereafter begins with the BASIC stance. Please step back into the basics, relearn and practice what you've learned thus far. Relax and know that you and are the same. Millions of others are like us. That fact in and of itself provides me comfort. But finally, please take comfort in the fact that I'm sure many others have experienced what you are right now and have been able to overcome this small obstacle. I commend you in your strength to face this one on one. GOD is with you and will not let you fail.
Jamil
Jamil
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Guest
I have also find anxiety a challenge when dealing with my little ones. So I can relate to you. I spend more time deep breathing while they sit there and watch instead of watching T.V. then the guilt I feel....so now I excuse myself and go to the restroom. I use to be excited about the program until I realized how much effort emotionally and mentally it took, amazing the same energy I already use but in a negative manner. Nothing in life worth having is easy........if so everyone would have it. Now the choice is ours if were willing to empower ourselves and go after it. Remember you never alone.....
Blessings
Blessings
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Guest
OMG aurora! You are me! I am a stay at home mom with a 3 & 5 year old.
After session three I became so anxious and depressed that I temporarily put the program on hold. I was weaning off an antidepressant and think that may have had a lot to do with the crash into depression.
I too have trouble going places, I'm so anxious. It's all I think about. My kids have watched so much TV and I feel so much guilt about that. It's like all I want to do is sit around and sleep but if I do it makes me so much worse. so I find myself going out to a friends house or just driving endlessly dreading going back home. I DREAD unplanned "free time"...yet i'm afraid to plan things bc i worry i'll be too anxious or depressed to deal.
I have started prozac. It's been almost 6 wks and am almost weaned off my paxil. I'm also taking klonopin .05mg at night and .05mg in the morning.
I worry about becoming dependent on them....God what don't I worry about.
I feel like once my meds are straightened out I'll get back into the program again. And I know I need that, bc half of my problem...or more than half of my problem is the negative thinking......and the guilt, and beating myself up over everything and the high expectations, the anticipatory anxiety, and the scary thoughts etc etc. but at the same time the thought of getting back into the program terrifies me. I haven't listened to the relaxation cd in over a month bc the thought of it give me an anxiety attack!
I'm sure my post is no help, bc I don't have much of a solution for you. But I can tell you to try to live in the moment. Don't think about the rest of the day, just deal with the moment. Treat yourself like you're sick, with a disease. Right now you need to focus on getting yourself better. Try not to feel guilty about your kids watching too much tv or you acting differently. They'll be fine. Tell them how much you love them and that you're sick and will be better soon. That's what I tell my kids.
I'm online in the chat's a lot. If u see me there pm me and i'll give u my email address and phone number. I think our situations are so much alike it's scary and we could use the support of each other!
After session three I became so anxious and depressed that I temporarily put the program on hold. I was weaning off an antidepressant and think that may have had a lot to do with the crash into depression.
I too have trouble going places, I'm so anxious. It's all I think about. My kids have watched so much TV and I feel so much guilt about that. It's like all I want to do is sit around and sleep but if I do it makes me so much worse. so I find myself going out to a friends house or just driving endlessly dreading going back home. I DREAD unplanned "free time"...yet i'm afraid to plan things bc i worry i'll be too anxious or depressed to deal.
I have started prozac. It's been almost 6 wks and am almost weaned off my paxil. I'm also taking klonopin .05mg at night and .05mg in the morning.
I worry about becoming dependent on them....God what don't I worry about.
I feel like once my meds are straightened out I'll get back into the program again. And I know I need that, bc half of my problem...or more than half of my problem is the negative thinking......and the guilt, and beating myself up over everything and the high expectations, the anticipatory anxiety, and the scary thoughts etc etc. but at the same time the thought of getting back into the program terrifies me. I haven't listened to the relaxation cd in over a month bc the thought of it give me an anxiety attack!
I'm sure my post is no help, bc I don't have much of a solution for you. But I can tell you to try to live in the moment. Don't think about the rest of the day, just deal with the moment. Treat yourself like you're sick, with a disease. Right now you need to focus on getting yourself better. Try not to feel guilty about your kids watching too much tv or you acting differently. They'll be fine. Tell them how much you love them and that you're sick and will be better soon. That's what I tell my kids.
I'm online in the chat's a lot. If u see me there pm me and i'll give u my email address and phone number. I think our situations are so much alike it's scary and we could use the support of each other!
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Guest
Aurora,
Congrats on being on lesson 3! The first few lessons can cause more anxiety, it happens alot. But please keep going, becuase the anxiety will better the more you know and the more you use your skills.
Take small steps to get out of the house.. you need the sunshine and you need to not get attached to being home! Its called avoiding, and you dont want to do that! This all takes lots of practice, it wont be gone overnight!
But it works!! Try keeping your body and mind busy! Lesson 3 is an important one, if you have to stay on it longer to get it, thats okay to.. But, DONT STOP!!! Your building a NEW foundation for yourself, filled with skills and opportunity to overcome anxiety! I wish you the best!! Nelly
Congrats on being on lesson 3! The first few lessons can cause more anxiety, it happens alot. But please keep going, becuase the anxiety will better the more you know and the more you use your skills.
Take small steps to get out of the house.. you need the sunshine and you need to not get attached to being home! Its called avoiding, and you dont want to do that! This all takes lots of practice, it wont be gone overnight!
But it works!! Try keeping your body and mind busy! Lesson 3 is an important one, if you have to stay on it longer to get it, thats okay to.. But, DONT STOP!!! Your building a NEW foundation for yourself, filled with skills and opportunity to overcome anxiety! I wish you the best!! Nelly