Bad seperation Anxiety
I am in a little predicament. I have a 15 month old adorable little boy. After he was born I had slight PPD but VERY bad anxiety. Including the annoying obsession thoughts. Pretty much I was anxious all day. It has gotten better BUT I have to go back to work really soon. We are not able to make it on my husband’s income alone and I am having a tough time looking for a job. The big problem is I am terrified of going back to work. I was good at my last job but have not worked since my son was born. I fear leaving him. I have scary thoughts when leaving (all the stupid what if's) I am scared I will have a panic attack at work or will fail at what I am doing. I am trying the positive self talk. I was wondering if any other parents out there have dealt with this. It is really bothering me right now because I really need a job but am TERRIFIED!!!! I never had panic attacks or this high of anxiety before when I was working. Any advice would help.
The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything." Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God
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Guest
Hi Naustin,
I am going to have to shake out the old cobb webs to remember what it was like. It seems so long ago.
I don't know if I was Blessed or lucky back then. I think it was a big concern for us too. Leaving our babies with others , that is. However, eventually, don't we all have to do that when they reach school age.
Anyway, we worked it out by me working 3PM-12 Midnight. I tried the 10:30 PM to 7 AM, but that just left me with no sleep. My wife got a job at an early childhood education place as a parent at the facility, and that worked well. I was home before she had to go to work and she was home before I had to go in to work.
It was a sacrifice of where we wanted our careers to go, but we felt that even if my wife and I did not see each other as often, it was what best for our children.
Hey, maybe this can work for you. What I have also seen is the mom's starting a baby sitting service and then expanding to create their own pre-school. You can do that. I believe you can find a lot of resources on line to help guide you to build a pre-school/home school type service.
Not only will that help to solve your concern about leaving you child and finding a job; you will be creating a safe and loving environment for other children, while at the same time being with your own child as you spread your nurturing and love to him and other children, as well as, not having to deal with interviews, until you have mastered this program.
I have seen your posts, and I have all the confidence in the world you can work all this out and make it happen.
Sacrifices like these: not making as much money to be able go and do the things we would all like to do is worth it. Who knows, by spreading that love you have inside to many others can be a huge personal reward, and can really grow to make you a very successful business person. Think about it, when you love what your doing it shines through for everyone to see, and that is how successful business are built.
<A HREF="http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2482" TARGET=_blank>http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2482</A>
I am going to have to shake out the old cobb webs to remember what it was like. It seems so long ago.
I don't know if I was Blessed or lucky back then. I think it was a big concern for us too. Leaving our babies with others , that is. However, eventually, don't we all have to do that when they reach school age.
Anyway, we worked it out by me working 3PM-12 Midnight. I tried the 10:30 PM to 7 AM, but that just left me with no sleep. My wife got a job at an early childhood education place as a parent at the facility, and that worked well. I was home before she had to go to work and she was home before I had to go in to work.
It was a sacrifice of where we wanted our careers to go, but we felt that even if my wife and I did not see each other as often, it was what best for our children.
Hey, maybe this can work for you. What I have also seen is the mom's starting a baby sitting service and then expanding to create their own pre-school. You can do that. I believe you can find a lot of resources on line to help guide you to build a pre-school/home school type service.
Not only will that help to solve your concern about leaving you child and finding a job; you will be creating a safe and loving environment for other children, while at the same time being with your own child as you spread your nurturing and love to him and other children, as well as, not having to deal with interviews, until you have mastered this program.
I have seen your posts, and I have all the confidence in the world you can work all this out and make it happen.
Sacrifices like these: not making as much money to be able go and do the things we would all like to do is worth it. Who knows, by spreading that love you have inside to many others can be a huge personal reward, and can really grow to make you a very successful business person. Think about it, when you love what your doing it shines through for everyone to see, and that is how successful business are built.
<A HREF="http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2482" TARGET=_blank>http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2482</A>
Hi,
I think your reaction is perfectly normal. It's difficult for many moms to return to work after being at home even if they don't have anxiety and panic. So, it's considered a high anxiety time for anyone in your predicament:). I've been a mom for eleven years of a child with severe autism, and I have done both, and I do remember returning to work and school with more severe anxiety when I had been panic free and a non-parent in the past. I think you have to allow yourself to feel the anxiety, but to look at all of your options for dealing with the situation. You will most certainly have to keep using your self-talk:). When we are first learning to use our self talk, it feels like a lot of work. We tend to think that if we have to use it, that we are not doing well. However, it takes a while for it to sink in, and then in the future we still use it, but it's just so ingrained and natural that we don't notice it:).
O.K. This is just my opinion:). First of all, I personally feel that it's easier for me to face any anxiety provoking situation when I feel like I have a choice. Right now, you are saying that your husband is without a job so you have to return to work. So, it looks to me like you feel like this is something you "have" to do, and not necessarily something that you want to do. That may not be the case, but if it is something that you feel like you have to do, I advise the following: I think Gman's advice was good, because he was showing that it's always good to look at all of your options. You do have a choice right now. For whatever your situation, you think that you "have" to work because your husband doesn't have a job right now. Make sure that that's really the case. Is your child going to require daycare? Will the money you spend on child care, transportation,work outfits, lunch, etc. really make you better off financially? Does your family qualify for any benefits such as unemployment, food stamps, etc., that your family could utilize until your husband finds another job? Is returning to work outside the home something that you personally feel that you "should" do because your husband doesn't have a job, or is it something you feel like you have to do because of what he thinks or society thinks? Really look at all of this to discover the truth about your motivations. Even if it is that you feel like you "have" to work because you feel it is the right thing to do, it will be a choice because you are choosing out of your personal convictions about what you think is "right", etc. Really analyzing all of this will make you feel like you are more in control and that you are the one in the driver's seat.
So, if you go through all of that and realize that you "want" to work, then you have a different strategy. If you want to work, you will love the job you are taking etc., then look at the options for how much time you need to spend at your job. Is part time with your husband's unemployment benefits if he gets them an option? Sometimes we put ourselves into a box with "all or nothing" options. Perhaps you want to work full time to maintain a certain life-style. Really look at what's important to you. It could be that full time is the only option to keep a roof over your head, food on the table, etc., but just really take a deep breath and look at the facts. If you truly find it's an emergency situation and that your family is better off for having the financial resources from your working, then just know that you still have a choice. It could be just a temporary situation while your husband finds another job,etc. You can always try it, and go back to at home if it doesn't work out as long as you don't lock yourself in with another car payment or higher mortgage payment, etc. I've tried going back to work and then it not working out for different reasons several times. Don't lock yourself into any financial obligations from the work though. For example, don't go charge a bunch of new work outfits on a credit card. Choice is the key. Try to eliminate your expenses, if anything so that you have as much freedom as possible.
So, if you made the choice to work outside the home, etc., then you can deal with the anxiety and panic that may arise much more easily when you are not feeling forced. I just think it's so important to know that you have a choice. Also, if this is an emergency, then know that people with anxiety actually do better in emergencies:).
Here's my story, and it's probably too long:). Right now, I am unemployed out of choice. I take responsibility for that choice so that I don't have to "use my anxiety as an excuse." That's not the case for everyone. For example, I'm not saying that everyone uses their anxiety as an excuse to get out of something they don't really want to do, but it has been for me in the past. My son was diagnosed in 2000 with severe autism when I was an at home mom. We were really poor, and I felt a lot of pressure to work outside the home. I mean, there were a couple of months when we fed ourselves and paid for diapers off of 50.00 a week!! I don't think I could do that if I tried now...probably not. Anyway, there were my own personal reasons that I wanted to work outside the home, but a lot of them were that I wanted to please other people. I wanted the status, etc. Being poor is frowned upon by society, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes you go without financial rewards in order to reap other rewards. I mean, there are so many ways to save money if money is the issue that you could actually make money saving strategies a job if it's that important to you to stay at home with your son even if your husband is without a job right now. It's all about knowing what you truly want. Anyway, I've had my ups and downs over the years with returning to work. I worked with kids with autism soon after my son was diagnosed to please everyone, and the kids were mistreated by those that were training me, and I had a nervous breakdown as part of returning to work from seeing what my son's life would be like in the future:(. I quit, and felt like a failure. However, before I quit, I was having panic attacks. I was under the care of a therapist who just wanted me to work. He felt that would keep me from obsessing about family situations and grief over my son. I remember that I went to see him, and told him how horrible I felt in the job. I would wake up every hour to see if it was time for me to get up because I hated the job so much and hoped it wasn't morning. NO ONE SHOULD EVER GO TO A JOB THAT THEY HATE THAT MUCH. Anyway, I told him, and he was like "Well, what about the kids? Isn't this just normal to staring a new job?" No, it isn't, but I listened to him. I lef that appointment and had one of the worst panic attacks of my life. I was under too much stress, and I wanted out, and I felt I had to please him. The reality was that no matter what, I had my own son who had autism, and at that point, no one who was in a good place would have recommended that I keep that job. Maybe now, I could do a good job, but back then, I wasn't in the emotional place to take on a job like that. Now, I know that God really wanted me to continue to be at home and help my son, and I saw the truth of what went on in the schools so I knew what to protect my son from. I was just trying to please the therapist, and he was wrong. I became an at home mom again, and I got another therapist who actually didn't want me to work at first, but within a year, she decided it was best for me to work. I returned to grad school and work at the same time to please my therapist!!! She said she wanted me "busy, busy"! I mean, I was overwhelmed, and I told her, and she said, "We all feel that way." She didn't have a child with severe autism not sleeping at night to be able to say that. It was about her belief system. It was too much. I have 45 graduate hours in a social work program. I love to counsel people, but the program was dysfunctional and set me back in my healing with my anxiety. At the end before I quit, I remember that I felt like someone from the social work program had come and drug me off the street at gunpoint to go into the program. I read something at that time of decision and prayer by Joyce Meyer where she made me realize that this is not the way God wants us to feel about our calling in life:)! At that point, I thought that I would be worse off without a job and school so I switched to library science and a grad assistantship. I made a choice. I finished, and I had a temporary job at the library for a year. Even with a part time job, my son really had special needs that were overwhelming. I saw my therapist that told me she wanted me "busy busy" after the job ended. She had been through things in her life at that point that made her understand and she basically apologized. So did the first therapist too:). So, I learned that no one else really knows what's best for me. Most people don't have a son with autism so those people can't really say whether or not I should work outside the home etc. It's a matter of personal choice, and you often make the decision based on factors others can't see. My position ended, and I tried to find a job, but I couldn't find one I wanted at the time. Personally, I've learned a lot about my true motivations and about the power of choice. My husband and I are financially better off right now which just shocks us, and I've used this time to make great strides in my healing, and it's better for our son to have his mother well. That's what worked for us for right now:). The decision isn't being made out of fear either though.
I also recommend the book, "The Myth of the Perfect Mother". I just think it's really good about showing you that you have options. So, if you've really looked at all your options, you really feel like this is a choice that you are making, etc., then it really will work out. You can use the coping mechanisms from this program to help you:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
I think your reaction is perfectly normal. It's difficult for many moms to return to work after being at home even if they don't have anxiety and panic. So, it's considered a high anxiety time for anyone in your predicament:). I've been a mom for eleven years of a child with severe autism, and I have done both, and I do remember returning to work and school with more severe anxiety when I had been panic free and a non-parent in the past. I think you have to allow yourself to feel the anxiety, but to look at all of your options for dealing with the situation. You will most certainly have to keep using your self-talk:). When we are first learning to use our self talk, it feels like a lot of work. We tend to think that if we have to use it, that we are not doing well. However, it takes a while for it to sink in, and then in the future we still use it, but it's just so ingrained and natural that we don't notice it:).
O.K. This is just my opinion:). First of all, I personally feel that it's easier for me to face any anxiety provoking situation when I feel like I have a choice. Right now, you are saying that your husband is without a job so you have to return to work. So, it looks to me like you feel like this is something you "have" to do, and not necessarily something that you want to do. That may not be the case, but if it is something that you feel like you have to do, I advise the following: I think Gman's advice was good, because he was showing that it's always good to look at all of your options. You do have a choice right now. For whatever your situation, you think that you "have" to work because your husband doesn't have a job right now. Make sure that that's really the case. Is your child going to require daycare? Will the money you spend on child care, transportation,work outfits, lunch, etc. really make you better off financially? Does your family qualify for any benefits such as unemployment, food stamps, etc., that your family could utilize until your husband finds another job? Is returning to work outside the home something that you personally feel that you "should" do because your husband doesn't have a job, or is it something you feel like you have to do because of what he thinks or society thinks? Really look at all of this to discover the truth about your motivations. Even if it is that you feel like you "have" to work because you feel it is the right thing to do, it will be a choice because you are choosing out of your personal convictions about what you think is "right", etc. Really analyzing all of this will make you feel like you are more in control and that you are the one in the driver's seat.
So, if you go through all of that and realize that you "want" to work, then you have a different strategy. If you want to work, you will love the job you are taking etc., then look at the options for how much time you need to spend at your job. Is part time with your husband's unemployment benefits if he gets them an option? Sometimes we put ourselves into a box with "all or nothing" options. Perhaps you want to work full time to maintain a certain life-style. Really look at what's important to you. It could be that full time is the only option to keep a roof over your head, food on the table, etc., but just really take a deep breath and look at the facts. If you truly find it's an emergency situation and that your family is better off for having the financial resources from your working, then just know that you still have a choice. It could be just a temporary situation while your husband finds another job,etc. You can always try it, and go back to at home if it doesn't work out as long as you don't lock yourself in with another car payment or higher mortgage payment, etc. I've tried going back to work and then it not working out for different reasons several times. Don't lock yourself into any financial obligations from the work though. For example, don't go charge a bunch of new work outfits on a credit card. Choice is the key. Try to eliminate your expenses, if anything so that you have as much freedom as possible.
So, if you made the choice to work outside the home, etc., then you can deal with the anxiety and panic that may arise much more easily when you are not feeling forced. I just think it's so important to know that you have a choice. Also, if this is an emergency, then know that people with anxiety actually do better in emergencies:).
Here's my story, and it's probably too long:). Right now, I am unemployed out of choice. I take responsibility for that choice so that I don't have to "use my anxiety as an excuse." That's not the case for everyone. For example, I'm not saying that everyone uses their anxiety as an excuse to get out of something they don't really want to do, but it has been for me in the past. My son was diagnosed in 2000 with severe autism when I was an at home mom. We were really poor, and I felt a lot of pressure to work outside the home. I mean, there were a couple of months when we fed ourselves and paid for diapers off of 50.00 a week!! I don't think I could do that if I tried now...probably not. Anyway, there were my own personal reasons that I wanted to work outside the home, but a lot of them were that I wanted to please other people. I wanted the status, etc. Being poor is frowned upon by society, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes you go without financial rewards in order to reap other rewards. I mean, there are so many ways to save money if money is the issue that you could actually make money saving strategies a job if it's that important to you to stay at home with your son even if your husband is without a job right now. It's all about knowing what you truly want. Anyway, I've had my ups and downs over the years with returning to work. I worked with kids with autism soon after my son was diagnosed to please everyone, and the kids were mistreated by those that were training me, and I had a nervous breakdown as part of returning to work from seeing what my son's life would be like in the future:(. I quit, and felt like a failure. However, before I quit, I was having panic attacks. I was under the care of a therapist who just wanted me to work. He felt that would keep me from obsessing about family situations and grief over my son. I remember that I went to see him, and told him how horrible I felt in the job. I would wake up every hour to see if it was time for me to get up because I hated the job so much and hoped it wasn't morning. NO ONE SHOULD EVER GO TO A JOB THAT THEY HATE THAT MUCH. Anyway, I told him, and he was like "Well, what about the kids? Isn't this just normal to staring a new job?" No, it isn't, but I listened to him. I lef that appointment and had one of the worst panic attacks of my life. I was under too much stress, and I wanted out, and I felt I had to please him. The reality was that no matter what, I had my own son who had autism, and at that point, no one who was in a good place would have recommended that I keep that job. Maybe now, I could do a good job, but back then, I wasn't in the emotional place to take on a job like that. Now, I know that God really wanted me to continue to be at home and help my son, and I saw the truth of what went on in the schools so I knew what to protect my son from. I was just trying to please the therapist, and he was wrong. I became an at home mom again, and I got another therapist who actually didn't want me to work at first, but within a year, she decided it was best for me to work. I returned to grad school and work at the same time to please my therapist!!! She said she wanted me "busy, busy"! I mean, I was overwhelmed, and I told her, and she said, "We all feel that way." She didn't have a child with severe autism not sleeping at night to be able to say that. It was about her belief system. It was too much. I have 45 graduate hours in a social work program. I love to counsel people, but the program was dysfunctional and set me back in my healing with my anxiety. At the end before I quit, I remember that I felt like someone from the social work program had come and drug me off the street at gunpoint to go into the program. I read something at that time of decision and prayer by Joyce Meyer where she made me realize that this is not the way God wants us to feel about our calling in life:)! At that point, I thought that I would be worse off without a job and school so I switched to library science and a grad assistantship. I made a choice. I finished, and I had a temporary job at the library for a year. Even with a part time job, my son really had special needs that were overwhelming. I saw my therapist that told me she wanted me "busy busy" after the job ended. She had been through things in her life at that point that made her understand and she basically apologized. So did the first therapist too:). So, I learned that no one else really knows what's best for me. Most people don't have a son with autism so those people can't really say whether or not I should work outside the home etc. It's a matter of personal choice, and you often make the decision based on factors others can't see. My position ended, and I tried to find a job, but I couldn't find one I wanted at the time. Personally, I've learned a lot about my true motivations and about the power of choice. My husband and I are financially better off right now which just shocks us, and I've used this time to make great strides in my healing, and it's better for our son to have his mother well. That's what worked for us for right now:). The decision isn't being made out of fear either though.
I also recommend the book, "The Myth of the Perfect Mother". I just think it's really good about showing you that you have options. So, if you've really looked at all your options, you really feel like this is a choice that you are making, etc., then it really will work out. You can use the coping mechanisms from this program to help you:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
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Guest
Thank you guys so much for the advice and the encouragement. Really means alot to have a group of people to talk to about this. I know one of my biggest fears is having a panic attack at work. Even though I have made huge strides with this at home I feel as though I am entering into a whole new terriotory. I agree I have to allow myself to be anxious during this period as it is normal. Also the stress of HAVING to get a job makes it worse. I wish I could find a job where I am doing something I love or with good people. My last job was ALOT of stress I was in investment and banking sells. I did great at it but and so much more fearful now of the stress I know the job has especially in this ecomonmy. I am looking outside the field now or more in the admin side. I am also trying to picture myself doing a great job instead of thinking I will fail at the job. Fail at home since I am working.
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Guest
Hi Naustin,
I remember when I started one of my jobs after I had developed severe panic. One of the phrases my therapist taught me was, "I am free to come and go as I please." Just remember, that even if you start the job, you always have an out. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. Have a plan for dealing with the panic. For example, "If I feel anxious, I am going to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, etc." When I had a job at the library, I was in a cubicle by myself so I could listen to my attacking anxiety tapes on my headphones. That was really great:). Also, make a list of ways to comfort yourself at work. During your breaks, plan on drinking some tea if that comforts you or taking a nice walk around the building or at a nearby park, etc., make your work place comforting with pictures of your loved ones, decorations, inspirational cards, etc. Make a list of support people that you can call on your cell when it is appropriate or if you feel really badly. Just remember that panic is just a symptom of stress. Some people get migraines from stress, and some people get panic attacks. You are not less than because you have this issue. It's O.K. Also, you mentioned the post partum. One time I heard a Christian author speak about how it takes three years for your hormones to get back to normal after having a baby. I wish I could remember her name. Just know that a lot of what is going on could still be related to your hormones from having a child. It just helps to know that. All of that really helped me.
I really hope you can find a job that you love. I wish you much luck, and I'll say a prayer for you:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
I remember when I started one of my jobs after I had developed severe panic. One of the phrases my therapist taught me was, "I am free to come and go as I please." Just remember, that even if you start the job, you always have an out. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. Have a plan for dealing with the panic. For example, "If I feel anxious, I am going to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, etc." When I had a job at the library, I was in a cubicle by myself so I could listen to my attacking anxiety tapes on my headphones. That was really great:). Also, make a list of ways to comfort yourself at work. During your breaks, plan on drinking some tea if that comforts you or taking a nice walk around the building or at a nearby park, etc., make your work place comforting with pictures of your loved ones, decorations, inspirational cards, etc. Make a list of support people that you can call on your cell when it is appropriate or if you feel really badly. Just remember that panic is just a symptom of stress. Some people get migraines from stress, and some people get panic attacks. You are not less than because you have this issue. It's O.K. Also, you mentioned the post partum. One time I heard a Christian author speak about how it takes three years for your hormones to get back to normal after having a baby. I wish I could remember her name. Just know that a lot of what is going on could still be related to your hormones from having a child. It just helps to know that. All of that really helped me.
I really hope you can find a job that you love. I wish you much luck, and I'll say a prayer for you:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
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Guest
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Guest
Thanks!!! I will go and look for her books. I am sure a lot of my anxiety is due to hormones. I have been checked quite a few times in the last year because I started to developed cyst pretty bad on my ovaries after having my son. My hormones were checked and my progestrone level has never been over 1. It is supposed to be 14 at a min he said. We have not been able to get it back up. I took the depo birth control shot 2 weeks after my son was born and that is when all this started. I never renewed the shot. But damage was done. It completly threw my hormones off. That was a fun ride!! LOL Do you think they would have her books at Barnes and Noble? I am going there today.
Hi Naustin,
I did a search online at Barnes and Noble, and they do have her books online. Here's the link <A HREF="http://books.barnesandnoble.com/search/ ... +vredevelt" TARGET=_blank>http://books.barnesandnoble.com/search/ ... edevelt</A> You could probably call them and ask if they have it in the store before you go there. If not, they can order it for you. You can also check your local public library just to make sure if money is an issue, or a local church that has a library too:). The book that I think applies to both of us would be "Women and Stress: A practical approach..." I need to get it:). I have one of her books about having a special needs child, and I've heard her speak on a radio show, and she has so much insight. I don't know why I haven't bought her "Women and Stress" book, so your posting helped me realize that I need to read that book:). So, you came on here for help, and you helped me:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
I did a search online at Barnes and Noble, and they do have her books online. Here's the link <A HREF="http://books.barnesandnoble.com/search/ ... +vredevelt" TARGET=_blank>http://books.barnesandnoble.com/search/ ... edevelt</A> You could probably call them and ask if they have it in the store before you go there. If not, they can order it for you. You can also check your local public library just to make sure if money is an issue, or a local church that has a library too:). The book that I think applies to both of us would be "Women and Stress: A practical approach..." I need to get it:). I have one of her books about having a special needs child, and I've heard her speak on a radio show, and she has so much insight. I don't know why I haven't bought her "Women and Stress" book, so your posting helped me realize that I need to read that book:). So, you came on here for help, and you helped me:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
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Guest
You have been a huge help!! My mom work with special needs kids for 12 years. She really loved it but I cant imagine how stressful and emotional that must be. Do you ever read Jenny McCarthys books? A friend said they were good.
How old was your son when he was diagnosed? You must be an extremely strong person to go through what you have been through. I agree with your not going to a job you hate. I am really praying hard to find something I will love. I am not sure where to start though.
How old was your son when he was diagnosed? You must be an extremely strong person to go through what you have been through. I agree with your not going to a job you hate. I am really praying hard to find something I will love. I am not sure where to start though.
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Guest
Glad if I could help Naustin:)! Thanks for the compliments regarding my son. By the time he was two and a half, we knew he was going to have the diagnosis of autism and officially it was a few months before he turned three. Everyone kept saying he was getting early intervention but eight years ago, they didn't really have any way to intervene. He is now eleven with severe autism. I love Jenny McCarthy, but I haven't read any of her books yet so I will look into it. One day I was feeling down, and she was on Oprah talking about Mother Warriors and that made me feel better:).
That book that I recommended, "Myth of the Perfect Mother" is probably out of print, but it helps you decipher your strengths and weaknesses, etc. What do you love to do, that you would do even if you didn't get paid to do? What are you really great at? What do you get lost in doing where you forget what time it is? Those are some questions that can help point you in the right direction. Look at job postings that in some way let you use those gifts and strengths the most. It may not be perfect, but as long as its a job that let's you use your gifts, you will enjoy it more:). Sometimes, there are emergencies for short periods where the job may not completely match, but if it's an emergency, then you shouldn't plan on that forever.
Take care,
luvpiggy
That book that I recommended, "Myth of the Perfect Mother" is probably out of print, but it helps you decipher your strengths and weaknesses, etc. What do you love to do, that you would do even if you didn't get paid to do? What are you really great at? What do you get lost in doing where you forget what time it is? Those are some questions that can help point you in the right direction. Look at job postings that in some way let you use those gifts and strengths the most. It may not be perfect, but as long as its a job that let's you use your gifts, you will enjoy it more:). Sometimes, there are emergencies for short periods where the job may not completely match, but if it's an emergency, then you shouldn't plan on that forever.
Take care,
luvpiggy