Help! Son's deployment and other things.

drg · Post by **drg** » Sat May 24, 2008 4:10 pm

My oldest son joined the Army Reserves at age 17 with my permission. On his 18th birthday, he changed from the Reserves to full-time active-duty Army. He is now 20; will be 21 in October. He is being deployed to Afghanistan in the middle of June. I have had three years to prepare for him to be deployed and I thought I was ready. But, I'm not.

I am divorced; have a best friend who's not available much to talk to or spend time with. My youngest son graduated from high school last week and will be going to Case Western Reserve University in the fall. My daugher is 24 and living on her own with her fiance. We see each other mostly at work--hers or mine. Not the same as a family kind of visit.

So, I'm dealing with the fear of my son's deployment (even though I very much believe that God will take care of him wherever he is), the empty nest syndrome and the loss of my best friend to talk with.

I have joined a singles group, but am not very involved in it yet, keep busy with church ministries, work two jobs, try to make sure to have "me" time and I walk my dog and play with him. But, since I helped bring my son and all of his stuff home from Texas so that I can store his car and everything while he's away (he's home on his 14-day pre-deployment leave) my anxiety has reared its ugly head terribly. It's not pretty.

I just would like to have somebody to talk with. It would help a great deal.

Any other suggestions, thoughts or comments?

~~~madison~~~ · Post by **~~~madison~~~** » Sat May 24, 2008 4:24 pm

hello,
my son was there for 10mths,hes home know thank god i can rest easy,i was a mess for the whole 10mths.if u need someone to talk to please feel free to email me...gailr2004@aol.com

SCDon · Post by **SCDon** » Sat May 24, 2008 5:16 pm

You would be welcome in the chatroom I'm sure. I salute you and your son. Sounds like you are very busy. Best wishes.

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Sat May 24, 2008 8:18 pm

My husband (ex now) was on the front lines to Baghdad in 2003 leaving me with my job, the house, two kids, and lots of women looking to me for support and encouragement. I'm proud of his service, but it was a rough go here at home.
I tried to make things easier for him by distributing his address to family and friends b/c I knew he'd love to hear from them. I sent a letter and the newspaper every day to keep him up to date and there was always a care package a week. They said mail call was their favorite time.
Back here, we kept him on a prayer list at church. The other women and I formed a yahoo internet group to keep in touch since only one Marine was able to call a day, so we were able to pass along whatever news to the whole group. Plus we met for an outing once a month for fellowship.
The unit was supposed to stay in Kuwait and handle prisoners of war. I got the letter in the mail about Baghdad and saw his unit on CNN on the front lines about the same time. I stopped sleeping and when I went for my annual exam, my gyn suggested a low dose of Lexapro which worked wonders.
I never let a chance go by to thank someone for their service. Please tell your son that he is in our thoughts and prayers for a mission accomplished and a safe return home....God bless! I'd be happy to talk anytime.

drg · Post by **drg** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:35 am

Thank you to each of you for your responses. I am feeling a little better today. My sons both went to church with me this morning and a lot of my church friends offered support and prayers. I found out this morning that my son's deployment is planned for 18 months. So, it will be a long haul. I will not forget those here who have offered support. I am making a list of those who are willing to talk/listen/chat and will refer to it as needed.

Have a good day, everybody!

*D* · Post by ***D*** » Sun May 25, 2008 10:26 am

drg,
you said that your son went to church with you his morning. that is what will help you out the most. put it in GODS HANDS and he will see you through.i went in the military at 18 and at 20 i was on my way to viet nam.i know how you feel and i know how he must feel as well.keep praying and reading GODS WORD.keep doing what you are doing and the christian fellowship will help you as well.if you ever need to talk please send me an email.you will find other things in my profile that will help you as well. take care and GOD BLESS.know that you and your family is in our thoughts and prayers.
don

drg · Post by **drg** » Mon May 26, 2008 12:35 pm

*D* Thank you. You are right. God is the answer to this entire situation. I believe in the power of prayer. I also am very thankful for the good people God has put in my life the past few years. Thanks for the offer of the e-mail. I've added you to my list. Eighteen months will be a long haul for my son to be gone. I'll be looking forward to each leave he gets to take and come home for awhile.

Once my youngest son heads off to college, I plan to get back into my hobbies, some I haven't touched since before I got married in 1982. Some ceramics are waiting for me; I want to learn how to play the piano (finally); may take up the cornet again. Also, I have a patriotic wallhanging that I'm making for my son, so I can have it waiting for him. Am making quilts for both of my sons, too. I am determined not to just work my two jobs to make up for the loneliness. There's plenty to do otherwise. And, I can pray while I'm at it.

Take care.

Debbie