scared to get preg

Kriskam02 · Post by **Kriskam02** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:58 am

i am wanting to try for # 3 but i am soooo scared of post partum depression that sometimes comes along after baby. i have 2 boys and didn't have it with either. i have however had severe anxiety this past year and seem to be doing alot better. it was the scary kind with all the unwanted scary thoughts that make you think your are losing it and you begin to get scared that you will hurt your loved ones because of the tricks anxiety plays on you. because of this i am scared to have another one. i am terrifed it will bring it back and i will have all the scary thoughts again. i know now that anxiety is a tough thing to bet but can be beaten and i understand what it does to you now. it is just convincing yourself that is all it is. i have been really better the last coupld of months. i don't want to jump up and get preg right away i just want some info about what others think that have been through the anxiety and had kids after the fact.

thanks

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:15 am

Hi...
I know how you are feeling, although I don't yet have any children. I am actually suffering with a bit of postpartum from a miscarriage (I didn't even think that this was possible but several doctors assured me that it was!) I keep hearing over and over from everyone that "I'll just know" when the time is right to start over and try again. I guess that is the only advice that I can give to you. You've been successful in your past pregnancies, but you could be putting more pressure on yourself now because of the economy, or even that your 3rd would be your last. I think that this might be why alot of people also choose to "give it to God". Hopefully I am making sense- do what is in your heart! You won't know until you are there....
Best wishes!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:19 am

I'm scared to have kids too because of my anxiety. I don't have any yet but I wonder how I could ever deal with kids when I'm feeling anxious all the time? It's not like you can just lock yourself in your room and ignore them.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:27 am

Very true, missgsr- that is why I spend alot of time babysitting my friends children. It's kinda like trying things out, although I am aware that it is totally different when they are yours....

Annie07 · Post by **Annie07** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:25 am

I too have 2 kids. they are both girls. I did suffer some postpartum depression and like you my anxiety has gotten really bad this past year. I also am thinking of a third, we are actually somewhat trying. Each day is so different. one day I for sure want it and think it will be ok, and then the next day, I will have some anxiety or struggle a little in someway, and think to myself, maybe it is not a good idea. but like lucinda says, we bring on the anxiety. I think if you sit and dwell on all the what if's and the depression, then nothing good will come of this thinking. But if you prepare yourself, and say, "ok, anxiety will hit here and there, so will depression, but I now have tools to deal with this, and if I really want this, I can make it through it." Remember, anxiety passes, it will go away, and if you have a supportive husband that is willing to be there for you, I would go for it. Just pray daily for help and guidance that you can be strong enough and remember your positive self talk and take time for your breathing. Don't sit and scare yourself with this, you need to think if this will be a good thing over all, and then move forward and stay positive. We are awsome people when we stay focused and positive. WE make the best mom's when we continually keep that positive self talk and breathing going. Also, maybe set it up so either you redo the program right before the baby is born and everything is fresh and you are positive and ready to go, or start it and have the baby and finsih the last few weeks of it when it is your first few weeks of having the baby home. Just think of all the good that can come. How old are ur 2 boys?

Reginald · Post by **Reginald** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:23 am

hey jsearle,

thank you so much for the boost of confidence i soooo needed that. you so right on not sitting and dwelling on things that get you down. i do that alot but now i am to the point where i can do something else and distract those thoughts so i know it is getting better. i started a dance class last week and girl it worked me over and i for the first time felt like my real self that i haven't felt in about a year. for that whole week nothing bothered me at all i felt great. then sunday i got sick and now have strep and i have a little anxiety.i guess it is because i am stuck indoors and that was one of my fears was being home by myself and i know i am fine i just have to get past the fear. when i first went through all this anxiety the fear was i was going to hurt mysef (knowing i would never because i was sooooo terrifed) i did see an counselor and was diagnosed with severe anxiety caused by a trauma which was my gallbladder surgery ( i know kind of strange) but i had never been sick in all my life and went into surgery crying like a baby then came out all panicked. it really had nothing to do with my kids so i don't know why i got so scared to even be with them. i guess i thought i was going crazy and would hurt them. now i know that is all anxiety and it will go away. i have come a long way in a years time and on no meds i am proud to say. sometimes i think i need them. lol but i did try lexapro a week after my surgery to help calm me down some and that is when all the scary feelings and thoughts came in and i got off after only 6 days so scared to try anything else. i still get those scary thoughts but i can move on. my boys are 7 and 3 and are my world. i love them with all my heart. the are my little sunshines. anyways i have been wanting a 3rd even before this issue happened but since it happend ofcourse the anxiety scares me and i guess that is what it is good for scaring people. only time will tell. i will turn it over to God and i know he will take care of me and help me through all this.

thanks

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:59 am

Good Morning. I had this too. Not PPD, but the scary thoughts. if you have a chance, please read some of my older posts on this =)