where do friends come from?

Lavender_rose · Post by **Lavender_rose** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:26 am

I have felt i am a good friend but can't seemingly find people to associate with ?or connect with ? I am a great listener. I am openminded also. Why is it hard to find friends?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:56 am

Hi Lavendar Rose.

I am the same way. I'm very talkative and friendly, and I talk to people everywhere I go. But I don't have many friends. Maybe it's because I don't go out much. That's the only reason I can think of.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:00 pm

That's a great question. I imagine it's different for everyone, but I find that real friends need to be able to accept me and take to me for who I am. "Acquaintances," as opposed to real friends, it seems want to be around us when we are fun and entertaining. I can be entertaining for a while when I want to be, but it can be work. Unfortunately, with the anxiety and depression I carry around, sometimes I need a real friend - someone I don't have to try so hard to be with.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:47 am

I've been hearing a lot of people lately discussing this very thing. I'm getting the feeling that people now just aren't that interested anymore in forming friendships. I'm wondering if it is a sign of the times we are in. I seem to remember when people viewed visiting and being with other people as a recreation. There are so many other ways now to get information we need on the internet(instead of calling a person), exercise (don't need to join a club- we can pop in a DVD for yoga, dance, or anything), recommendations for reading (check the internet and order), etc etc. I get the feeling people just aren't making the effort anymore because there are so many ways now to entertain ourselves and get information without having to spend time (and this is what builds a friendship) with an actual person. One of our yoga centers here now has a DVD you can buy from them instead of attending the class! Well if I'm in my living room alone doing a yoga class how in the heck will I meet anyone? I'm glad you brought this up because I'm as guilty as anyone else for not making an effort, so I think I'm going to shut down the computer and go ask my neighbor if she wants to go have lunch and talk. That's if she isn't in the middle of her exercise DVD and on line language class! lol

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:58 am

I cry almost daily because I cant make a friend. I am nice and friendly I give compliments and ask people to go places with me. I dont really live close to people. I do have neighbors but they are about 40 years older than me and they are always gone. I have lived in this area for almost 3 years and for the past 2 yeras I have been alone.

~Noelle~ · Post by **~Noelle~** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:43 am

I THINK TO HAVE A FRIEND YOU HAVE TO BE A FRIEND. SO GO TALK AND HELP OTHERS AND YOU WILL HAVE FRIENDS.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:51 am

I agree with Deb Emenhiser. When I stop focusing on myself so much and reach out to others thats when I feel rewarded.
Juls

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:44 pm

I made a good friend through a common interest, raw food. When I moved to this new town we realized we'd been posting to the same message board. We started emailing back and forth and eventually met. We shared a lot of the same values and were homeschoolers, which helped. It was great to make a good friend and we both have our quirks which we accept!

I've also made some casual friends through Taekwondo and my church.

So I would say keep going to the same classes (Jazzercize, Pilates, Yoga or a Martial Arts class would be a great idea), church or interest group where you'll keep seeing the same people over and over again, and eventually you'll start making friends. Meetup.com is a great place to start.