Sensitive 8 yr old

Concerned Aunt · Post by **Concerned Aunt** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:12 am

My father and I both have issues with anxiety & depression. Daddy also had PTSD from WWII. My mother and sister do not understand or relate. My sister married a wonderful man who is bipolar and deals with depression and anxiety. They have two wonderful girls (8 and 6) who have shown signs of extreme sensitivity since very early on. Given the family history from both sides we are all trying to help the girls NOW!
The 8 year old is very sensitive to peer input and worries she isn't a good friend. She analyzes everything people say to her and already asks what we think they meant by what they said. She is quite a worrier. Luckily, she is a smart, sweet and considerate young lady. Please give me advice on how to help her respond to statements like the latest one “You never match” which has had her depressed now for almost two weeks. What do we say to help her move on and to help her know what to say in response at the time of the statement?
Thank you!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:24 am

I was an anxious child (anxious adult too) and have an extensive family history of anxiety related problems. My child had signs of autism and at 4 he was actually diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), so I guess I know a bit about this. Truthfully, given the history, I hope the parents stop being in denial about their children's increased risk for this, and at least bring it up with the pediatrician. That said, and even if they never do, I think you can help the children by empathizing with them. Instead of saying "Don't worry what others kids do/say/think" say "I understand it makes you sad when Jane says...or thinks...etc". The worst thing is to make the child feel more isolated by denying their feelings. By acknowledging them, the child may be more likely to open up to you, whereby you can help her even more. It's difficult, because the urge is to diminish the bad feelings but it doesn't work that way, even if they are not based on reality. Good luck, the girls will be better off if you continue to care about them as you seem to be doing. Kudos to you.