This has really ripped me up inside! My eyes tear up just reading your comments because it makes me feel like I'm not alone.
Lately my anxiety will turn into these feelings like I've been trapped by my family and my children, but before this I NEVER felt that way!!! I am so in love with my 3 children (11, 8, and 2)..but this anxiety/depression has made me feel so resentful of what I'm not enjoying, what I can't seem to participate in, and then I am scared after a thought of feeling trapped, because I did not feel like that at all before this.....and that's what I tell myself..I remind myself that before anxiety gripped my life again (it's happened years before) that I was not upset with my life....I mean, I was upset with some of our financial circumstances that seem to go on and on, but I was very happy with my family..my husband and my children...now it feels like I have to force my feelings for them...even though I know I love them so much.....
The other scary thought is being afraid I'll hurt myself. I hate this one with a passion. And to top it off, I went to a new bible study last night with some women at my church and one of the women spent a lot of time discussing the recent suicide of her brother who had 3 girls he left behind. I almost jumped out of my skin!!!! Here I am terrified of hurting myself and not being here for my family and then I have to sit through this discussion about how her brother followed through!!!! It was awful. I got in the car after that and cried my eyes out. I screamed at God..begged him to take this away....I just want him to show up and help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scary thoughts?
queenb-
We have all been there. I was doing so much better and then last night I woke up and felt so out of it. For some reason just waking up or being tired triggers my anxiety. I started freaking out thinking that maybe this wasn't real, maybe my whole life isn't real. I just felt so out of it and dream like. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. Than of course I started thinking "oh my god, this is it you have gone crazy, they all said it wouldn't happen and that it was just anxiety but it has". Than of course I started thinking that if I was crazy maybe I would hurt myself or worse my family, after all that's what crazy people do. I stayed in bed for two hours in the dark, trying to breath and get a grip. finally I fell back asleep. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I am coming off of my medication. It just wasn't working for me but the withdrawl is making everything worse. I guess what I am trying to say is that we have all been through that kind of stuff.
We have all been there. I was doing so much better and then last night I woke up and felt so out of it. For some reason just waking up or being tired triggers my anxiety. I started freaking out thinking that maybe this wasn't real, maybe my whole life isn't real. I just felt so out of it and dream like. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. Than of course I started thinking "oh my god, this is it you have gone crazy, they all said it wouldn't happen and that it was just anxiety but it has". Than of course I started thinking that if I was crazy maybe I would hurt myself or worse my family, after all that's what crazy people do. I stayed in bed for two hours in the dark, trying to breath and get a grip. finally I fell back asleep. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I am coming off of my medication. It just wasn't working for me but the withdrawl is making everything worse. I guess what I am trying to say is that we have all been through that kind of stuff.
Mandi
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waterwoman59
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:00 am
I am not a professional, but I had a support group for women who experienced postpartum depression for 3 years and been doing phone counseling. I started doing this in 1988 and still continue to do phone counseling. I had scary thoughts back then, related everything I heard to myself. Please, stop watching the news, it will drive you crazy and give you more to think about and applying everything you hear to yourself. When I was in therapy, my therapist told me that people who act on these thoughts don't find them scary and I didn't. I needed to be reassured that I wasn't crazy and going to do anything. These thoughts really scared me. Crazy people don't find these thoughts scary. Many people have these thoughts but don't make a big deal out of them. Nervous people do. I no longer fear these thoughts and I know I would never act on them. Dr. Claire Weekes has a book that she touches on the subject of obsessive thoughts, scary thoughts and how to deal with them. Good Luck and remember these are just thoughts.
Here is a cool response from Jeff who runs the panicend.com website for intrusive scary thoughts. Ive had them all and this helps a ton. Pm me if you need anything!
Intrusive thoughts are you seeking control over your feelings. If you could slow down your thought stream you might catch yourself starting the process with, "I wonder if THAT (fill in stressor) wil make me anxious?" This process is habitual. When you are under stress, under above normal sensitization, you recognize your tensed feelings and the "testing" begins. These are silly thoughts that give you a blast of adrenaline. I still have them in my dreams and they wake me from time to time - but only if I have not been treating my GI very well- like 5 nights of alcohol intake, or bad eating. But that is MY trigger!
This testing occurs because you have a belief that deep down inside you have something wrong with you that you have failed as of yet to uncover.
The answer is to rationally counter these with, "There is really NOTHING wrong with me except I am currently sensitized to stress! So I will have these silly thoughts and react to them! They will go away when my stress decreases so long as I don't bother with them!"
Not bothering with them means not over-analyzing them.
Intrusive thoughts are you seeking control over your feelings. If you could slow down your thought stream you might catch yourself starting the process with, "I wonder if THAT (fill in stressor) wil make me anxious?" This process is habitual. When you are under stress, under above normal sensitization, you recognize your tensed feelings and the "testing" begins. These are silly thoughts that give you a blast of adrenaline. I still have them in my dreams and they wake me from time to time - but only if I have not been treating my GI very well- like 5 nights of alcohol intake, or bad eating. But that is MY trigger!
This testing occurs because you have a belief that deep down inside you have something wrong with you that you have failed as of yet to uncover.
The answer is to rationally counter these with, "There is really NOTHING wrong with me except I am currently sensitized to stress! So I will have these silly thoughts and react to them! They will go away when my stress decreases so long as I don't bother with them!"
Not bothering with them means not over-analyzing them.
Hi
I do too have all those scary thoughts, but the only thing that scares me is that the feelings are so strong, it feels like I wont to act on the thought, but I don't they are scaring me. And another thing that I hate is that the thought and feelings are always there, they never go away. What should I do. I was taking zoloft for 6 months 50 mg and 3 weeks ago , i am taking 25 mg, and it feels like i am loosing my controll. I am scared to do something scary I feel like my brane freezes. Please help me, any ideas what i should do
I do too have all those scary thoughts, but the only thing that scares me is that the feelings are so strong, it feels like I wont to act on the thought, but I don't they are scaring me. And another thing that I hate is that the thought and feelings are always there, they never go away. What should I do. I was taking zoloft for 6 months 50 mg and 3 weeks ago , i am taking 25 mg, and it feels like i am loosing my controll. I am scared to do something scary I feel like my brane freezes. Please help me, any ideas what i should do
I know you know this deep down but you wont act on these thoughts. Have you been to ha therapist? My anxiety is also based around scary thoughts and when they are strong it is hard to reason with them. I have told my therapist everything I feel and everything I obsess over and she has reassured me over and over that these are just thoughts. Thats it!!! Every time I tell her a new one a think she will lock me up. LOL Then she smiles and says yup just a thought. I think when you fear something so long we begin to wonder whether we would actually do it. My therapist has told me that NO ONE in the history of OCD has EVER acted on a scary thought. Please give yourself some comfort. You are obviously scared
of these thoughts not intrigued by them.
I was on Zolof for a very short time and did not like it so I weaned of it and have not taken anything since. My sister had anxiety attacks really bad when she was younger and has since cured herself. She said even if she feels an attack she doesn’t care and so it just goes away. That gives me high hopes that it is very possible to be ok!!
Good Luck!! It takes a very strong smart person to develop anxiety!! LOL So no doubt with those traits you can come out of it too!!
of these thoughts not intrigued by them.
I was on Zolof for a very short time and did not like it so I weaned of it and have not taken anything since. My sister had anxiety attacks really bad when she was younger and has since cured herself. She said even if she feels an attack she doesn’t care and so it just goes away. That gives me high hopes that it is very possible to be ok!!
Good Luck!! It takes a very strong smart person to develop anxiety!! LOL So no doubt with those traits you can come out of it too!!
The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything." Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God
Hi Galina, and to all,
I realize that it is tough to make ourselves realize that these are just thoughts. Negative thoughts. Just thoughts!
However, if you are working the program, you are learning to change your thoughts to positive thoughts or to blew them off. Many here indicate they can't seem to do that, but you can. It takes practice. Work the program, and learn how to practice to get these negative and senseless thoughts right out of your head and replace them with positive and productive thoughts.
All negative thinking and thoughts are or is wasted energy. You can choose to be where you want to be. It could wringing your hands with senseless unsupported fear and worry, or positive and productive thoughts that help you get a handle on the life you choose to live.
If millions of other people can live there life in relative safety and freedom from their negative thoughts, why can't we? Are we so feeble as to be controlled by our own negative thoughts generated by ourselves ? I think not! If that is the case we can choose to work the program and learn what we need to do and then do, just do it!
Are we not able to, or choosing not to learn, how to learn to conquer those fears and doubts through the power of positive thinking and positive self talk to gain a sense of normalcy in our lives?
When your mind says you can't, you say back to yourself: Oh yes I can! Get lost, I control what I think so take a hike! When your mind tells you you should be afraid. You tell yourself, Of what? There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear is an an emotion and I am in control of my own emotions! Get lost!
If your mind tells you, what if this or that? You say, So what if you just get right out of my head! So what if!
Galina you are fairly new to this forum and I don't know if you have the program. These are things you will learn in this program. I am not being mean, I am trying to help show you how rein in this thinking that has probably ruled your life. Remember it is the thinking that we are learning to fight, one battle at a time, one moment per moment.
I am hearing all and feeling all and I am loving all of you. Can you all feel me?
I realize that it is tough to make ourselves realize that these are just thoughts. Negative thoughts. Just thoughts!
However, if you are working the program, you are learning to change your thoughts to positive thoughts or to blew them off. Many here indicate they can't seem to do that, but you can. It takes practice. Work the program, and learn how to practice to get these negative and senseless thoughts right out of your head and replace them with positive and productive thoughts.
All negative thinking and thoughts are or is wasted energy. You can choose to be where you want to be. It could wringing your hands with senseless unsupported fear and worry, or positive and productive thoughts that help you get a handle on the life you choose to live.
If millions of other people can live there life in relative safety and freedom from their negative thoughts, why can't we? Are we so feeble as to be controlled by our own negative thoughts generated by ourselves ? I think not! If that is the case we can choose to work the program and learn what we need to do and then do, just do it!
Are we not able to, or choosing not to learn, how to learn to conquer those fears and doubts through the power of positive thinking and positive self talk to gain a sense of normalcy in our lives?
When your mind says you can't, you say back to yourself: Oh yes I can! Get lost, I control what I think so take a hike! When your mind tells you you should be afraid. You tell yourself, Of what? There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear is an an emotion and I am in control of my own emotions! Get lost!
If your mind tells you, what if this or that? You say, So what if you just get right out of my head! So what if!
Galina you are fairly new to this forum and I don't know if you have the program. These are things you will learn in this program. I am not being mean, I am trying to help show you how rein in this thinking that has probably ruled your life. Remember it is the thinking that we are learning to fight, one battle at a time, one moment per moment.
I am hearing all and feeling all and I am loving all of you. Can you all feel me?
All for His praise, glory and the joy it gives Him.
Hugs, In His Love >:D<
Gman9259
"He who dwells in the secret place of the most
high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty"
Hugs, In His Love >:D<
Gman9259
"He who dwells in the secret place of the most
high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty"
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Scott Demeter
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 3:23 pm
Galina--Hi, I am a fellow sufferer of OCD. You have obsessions and, by definition, you do not have conscious control over them. This is not meant to scare you. OCD is a medical disorder; it responds to mainly SSRI's (meds) and/or exposure-response (also known as "flooding"). The latter is a type of behavior therapy where you are instructed to face your fears on a dramatic level to desensitize you. There is hope. I've suffered with OCD for 40 years, and I got better with a proper drug regimen. You can, too. I know how persistently harrowing it is. One other thing: good books to read are The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing and, better yet, Edna Foa's Stop Obsessing!
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nicole hebert
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:44 am
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Illinois75
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:45 pm
Hi...I am new to this forum. But I am about ready to give birth to a baby girl, and I can't stop w/ these crazy "what if" thoughts. Like what if I am a bad mom, and what if I lose my mind and lose control and hurt my baby? It terrifies me to the point where I just want to sob. I've had panic attacks on and off throughout my life, and find myself doing this 'what if' thing whenever I get stressed out. does this mean I have OCD?? I didn't think I did, as I just have this issue under certain circumstances. I've debated seeing a therapist / going on meds, but meds scare me and I don't like the idea of sharing these things w/ someone I do not know. This s/b a joyful time for me, yet I am so worried and sad and anxious. Any help or advice is appreciated!