Scary thoughts?

mandif · Post by **mandif** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 4:02 am

Okay, I was watching the news the other night and there was a man who threw his children off of a balcony and then himself. My question is what makes people who have scary thoughts different from the crazy people who go through with them? I got super paranoid thinking things like "maybe they started out like me, just having scary thoughts and trying to control them and then they just lost the battle". It started really creeping me out and I became a little obsessive to the point where I got scared to give my kids a bath or even be around them. Not that I want to hurt my kids but everyone said that this guy had always been a loving parent and he was just going through a stressful time but it was nothing to bring this on. So now I guess my question is, is there a difference between people who have scary thoughts brought on by panic or anxiety and the people who drive their cars into rivers or are we the same and some of us are just lucky or have more self control and if they are crazy and we are not then how do we know that we aren't like them and just haven't gone that crazy yet? I know this is a strange topic but I can't really stop obsessively thinking that maybe everyone's wrong and I am like these people.

Corduroy75 · Post by **Corduroy75** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 8:10 am

Hi I just wanted to reply to your post as I have often been rapt with obsessive thoughts. Right now one of mine is that I am pregnant and what if I end up like Andrea Yates, the one that killed her 5 children. That being said, however, I know it is an irrational scary thought, no more, no less. The fact that we can think about those thoughts and see how scary and horrible means we would never do it. It is scary to think of what human beings are capable of, but we anxiety sufferers are highly sensitive individuals who are sensitized to everything more than others. When we hear a news story as the one you mention, we internalize, analyze and obsess. That is part of us. But knowing that they are only thoughts helps to realize we would never act on them. There are fantastic books and other materials out there that speak much better than I can. The Attacking Anxiety program has a lesson on scary thoughts, there is also a book called Stop Obsessing. Please just know that you have internalized what you heard, you would never act on it.

InnerStruggle · Post by **InnerStruggle** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 9:33 am

Its nice to know im not the only one here. I to have had thoughts of hurting my wife and are dog however when im not having an attack I dont think that way, I know deep in my heart I would never do that, I agree with Corduroy75 the fact that you can feel that is A indaction that could not do it, I tell myself that I am a safe person and try to destract my mind by doing something else. so those crazy ass people dont have feelings they dont think they just do. so know in your heart your safe and if you feel like your going to hurt someone call for help or remove your self from the situation dont let your self become consumed with the thinking of hurting anybody. oh yea STOP watching the news.... the news used to mess with me to now I watch other things on tv and change back when the weathers is on

hang in there time heals all YOU CAN DO IT. if you need to talk im here I check the posting a couple times a day remember you can do it

amyw · Post by **amyw** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 11:17 am

hi,
i too struggled with this very thing. for me it was a fear of losing control. a book called THE IMP OF THE MIND by lee baer addresses these very issues. i too had the bath tub thing. if you need to talk email me. i would be happy to talk with you.
peace,
amy

squish_is_me · Post by **squish_is_me** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 4:18 pm

OMG!!! YOU MEAN OTRHER PEOPLE WONDER TOO!?

I kept thinking about that woman... about a year ago... there was an amber aloert out for her. She had a misscarage... had a family of like 5 already and got so screwed up in her head about the misscaruiiage that she told people she got preggo again. Met some woman online and then went to her home, sliced her stomach open and stole her unborn chiold and left the woman for dead! Now when I was preggo my anxietry and obsessive thoughts were much worse so my constant fear was that someone would kill me or want my child. Now my thoughts lean towards... well she seemed normal...and she just snapped1 Who woulda thought someone without such a large family would loose it that bad ovr one misscariage!/ What if I snap? What if one day i just loose it and totally freak out!? Then I remind myself I am ok and worrying irrationally... but then i say ... well it happens doesnt it... there are so many people who just like wig out and shoot someone or drown there kids for lord only knows what reasons etc... and that was my exact question what makes them so different!?
In the end I always decided it is a stupid irrational UNHEALTHY woprry thought process and obsession and MAKE myself stop... but the worry creeps in some days. And WHY!? Why cant I make it go away or just shut it off!? I dont want to hurt anyone! I brake for freakin small rodents in the road you know! So where is this comming from?? OCD? Inability to stop one thought which leads to another which leads to another which ALWAYS ends up somewhere bad which starts a cycle of bad thoughts and worries related tot he orriginal topic?? maybe ... I dont know...

squish_is_me · Post by **squish_is_me** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 4:21 pm

oh yea STOP watching the news.... the news used to mess with me to now I watch other things on tv and change back when the weathers is on hang in there time heals all YOU CAN DO IT. if you need to talk im here I check the posting a couple times a day remember you can do it

LOL OMG! Ya I dont watch the news at ALL anymore! All it does is make me paranoid about anything and everything and most of which is stuff I cant change!!!

mandif · Post by **mandif** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 3:59 am

Well at least I am not the only one. The thing that makes me feel crazy is that I feel so guilty about even thinking that I may be capable of something so horrific. I find myself sobbing thinking about how I don't even deserve my children because anyone who even thinks these horrible things should not have kids. I found that since I have had the baby it has gotten worse. I think because I know this is the time that even some "normal" people would be thinking scary thoughts and I start thinking that if regular people have these thoughts than of course I am going to have them as well. I don't know if that makes sense or not. It is all very scary and sad to me.

jennifer sapphire · Post by **jennifer sapphire** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 6:46 am

ok I often had this problem when I was pregnant but I 'll tell you the difference between some one who has those thoughts and some one who acts on them. The difference is the person who has those thoughts and acts apon them enjoys it, They like the thoughts, they do not scare them. And we do get scared of them and do not enjoy it, the thoughts bother us. Don't worry there just thoughts don't read into them to much.

chellebelle · Post by **chellebelle** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:26 am

man this topic is right up my alley, this in a nutshell is what my problem with anxiety and depression is all about! Im so glad to know that we are not alone in this! I too have felt like I am not worthy of my children and dident understand why God gave them to me. I want nothing more than to be a good mom who is confident her love and ability to raise my children and enjoy them and have them enjoy me, sometimes I feel like such a failure because of my thougts and I think thats it ive ruined it. But deep down I know that this will pass, there will be healing and a great life with my kids to be had, I just find myself wishing that the reality of Andrea Yates and the lady you stole teh baby or the man on the balcony dident exsist, its like why do they have to ruin my life too? but in reality I let them, I invite them in over and over again, thinking about there actions and worrying about them constantly, you are not alone, any of you! we are all going through this together! we will overcome this!

Donnamarie · Post by **Donnamarie** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:13 pm

Hi Mandy,
First let me say that you are not alone. I am going thru the same exact thing. I was told that people who are crazy dont think about things, and that I was very creative and needed to ask myself what it was that I did not want to deal with. I was told that it was easier for me to scare myself than deal with what was bothering me I know this is no fun. But we all will get thru it just tell yourself "thoughts only thoughts" I am sorry that I cannot be of more help but I hope this helps a little I am in the begining of the program.