Any other stay at home moms ready to lose their mind!

[AJ5]

I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys 10,8 and 4. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for 15+ years. My father has it, my sisters have it and now I see my oldest showing traits. I am listening to the cd's but this is so much harding to overcome that they make it sound. I know I am a perfectionist but this feels like it is going to rule my life forever. I just want to feel normal. I don't want to pass this onto my adorable children who don't deserve this. Is there really any hope for a permanet fix?

[karenLeigh]

Hey AJ5,
I just wanted to say yes there is hope. When I first started the program I was very overwhelmed. It will get better. Make sure you take time to do the relaxation tape. It will help when you feel overwhelmed. I feel like you I don't want to pass this on to my children. Now that I have done the program and doing it for the 2nd time. I can honestly say that...I have learned skills that can help my girls. Also I'm teaching..(yes I said teaching) my husband how to help his self by talking to him about what I've learned and he has listened to a few of the tapes. You will find in time that these are "Life Skills". You may even be able to help your family. My mother listened to one of the tapes just yesterday. I couldn't believe it! This program will change how you see things. You want feel that Guilt your feeling now and you want beat yourself up either for things. If that is how your feeling. Take care and be kind to yourself. You are worth it!...We all are!

[little ol' me]

I like to keep bananas, graham crackers and yogurt cups (no prep food)as easy stand-bys. you can also give each of your kids a big sippy cup of water to carry around with them...the "no leak" kind. They don't ask for food as much if you do that and then you don't have to worry about them getting dehydrated. My friend just lets her kids snack all day and doesn't do "lunch". Funny how tradition says you have to eat certain things at a certain time. I'd love to tell you about my super easy potty training method sometime. Let me know if you're interested.

[little ol' me]

AJ5, You might want to look into the support center. I was hesitant, but I called and I feel SO MUCH better now. It was the ray of hope I was looking for. I too, have a LONG family history of depression as well as bipolar disorder and I can see my kids starting to show symptoms. I want answers for my family as well as myself. They deserve to know who I really am and to avoid the pain I've been through too. You CAN do this, I know it's hard but it's possible. DO call the support center, you won't regret it. There are some of us that just need extra help and there isn't anything wrong with that. That's why Lucinda made the support center. We aren't all supposed to be able to do it completely alone! Also, I have links to some really exciting information that has helped me a lot. Let me know if you are interested okay? Hang in there. We're going to be allright and are kids are too. I really believe that! Laura

[lorcin]

Hi stay at home mom iam trying really hard to be positive but i alway find myself doing the same stupid things over and over you'd think I would learn by know eg: I have a 13 yr old son who knows how to push my buttons but I seem to fall into old patters. I get really angry with him if i have to ask or call him a million times to do anything i explode with frustration and sadness, i fell no respect whatso ever. Have any comments. Have a good day Lorcin

Originally posted by little ol' me:
AJ5, You might want to look into the support center. I was hesitant, but I called and I feel SO MUCH better now. It was the ray of hope I was looking for. I too, have a LONG family history of depression as well as bipolar disorder and I can see my kids starting to show symptoms. I want answers for my family as well as myself. They deserve to know who I really am and to avoid the pain I've been through too. You CAN do this, I know it's hard but it's possible. DO call the support center, you won't regret it. There are some of us that just need extra help and there isn't anything wrong with that. That's why Lucinda made the support center. We aren't all supposed to be able to do it completely alone! Also, I have links to some really exciting information that has helped me a lot. Let me know if you are interested okay? Hang in there. We're going to be allright and are kids are too. I really believe that! Laura

[little ol' me]

Okay, you mentioned that your oldest is showing symptoms so I'm assuming that this is the 13 yr old boy you are talking about. First, if he's 13 that would explain why you feel you don't have respect. I have the same problem with my seven year old. Some kids just push a little harder to find their limits (or mom's limits). My 7 yo is also the one who is showing symptoms at our house. It could be that they are mentally bewildered. I remember being that way as a kid. I too, have explosion issues. It just hits me out of nowhere it seems. I'm trying so hard, being kind, sweet, patient, and then WHAM! I'm MR. Hyde. Have you talked to your son about his symptoms? Maybe he's not open to that type of conversation. He's 13 after all. They don't want to have ANY conversation at that age! I guess what I'm trying to say is that he sounds pretty normal and so do you. Even moms who have it together blow up at kids that age sometimes, especially when you tell them something over and over and see no results. I'm not trying to give any pat answers, I just want to let you know it's not a dead end road we're on. Thousands of success stories can't be wrong. I was one of those who said "ya, but I'm a different case" and I'm beginning to realize that I'm not. Part of what is so hard is picking yourself back up after an "episode" of anger or depression or "failure" at some expectation we have set up. We ALL fall back into old patterns. We ALL have set backs. It's part of life. Don't think you're so special that you won't have them too! You are so special though, that you will have success if you hang in there. There is nothing that says you can't just because you fall into old patterns. AND PLEASE CALL THE SUPPORT CENTER! Do it for you, becuase you deserve it! They are much better able to handle your specific situation than any of us are. They are SOOOOOOO NICE TOO!!!!

[darlam2]

I just started the MCA&D program. I am a stay at home mom too with a 4 1/2 y/o boy and 2 1/2 y/o girl. They are both really good kids, so I wonder why I get angry so fast, or just want to hide. I think it is because I don't feel like I "get anything done." However, I get the laundry done, we always have clean dishes to eat off of, we always have food to eat, the kids are clean, they don't wake with nightmares because I may have yelled at them...do you see what I am saying?
Stay at home moms have a very difficult job...not to be taken lightly. My MIL keeps reminding me these days go by so quickly. Soon they are grown and all the sweet things they do now will be a memory. So, Kris10, take a deep breath. If you can't go outside, bring outside in. Gather a crate of snow, dump it in the bathtub and let them have at it making a snowman! Have a picnic on the living room floor. The kids will love it and tell everyone about it.
I have it easy, I think. My husband runs a family business so he really creates his own hours. I don't have it like some of you with commutes and long hours. I also have my in-laws only about 5 miles away, so the kiddos go there about once a week or every other week. During the time they are gone, I try to get something done that I have trouble getting done while they are home...like computer things. I have to do our personal accounting on the computer. I can hardly do that with the kids here. They crawl all over me! So! While they are gone, I focus on that. When they are home, I do all the other things that need to get done, remembering to play with them too. My son is always asking me to be a pirate, or play the Sheriff of Nottingham, or football. You know, taking 15 minutes away from whatever we "have" to get done is something the kids will remember. They need that, and so do we. I spent 2 mornings recently shoveling our driveway because it got me outside with the kids. Soon, I was running through the yard pulling them on sleds up and over little hills of snow, laughing! I hadn't had that much fun in a long time.
I am sorry this is so wordy. I just wanted to encourage you, Kris10. You are incredible for wanting to be home with your kids. Have you heard of MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers)? I suggest you find a program like that; someone else mentioned MOMS. I also go to the gym, a YMCA here, and they have great childcare. Get out and do something for yourself. I agree with one other poster who suggested doing something non-mommy related, but I also think being around other mommies with kiddos similar in age to yours is helpful in regards to age related issues.
Sorry so wordy, hope you are better now, almost a year later. Cheers!
darla.

[Linzpins]

Hi. I'm new on here, but totally understand this situation as I am mostly a stay at home mother too. I do work 10 hours a week and sometimes I look forward to going just to get out of here! I heard my aunt talking about how stressed out she always was when her kids were little- and I couldn't believe it because as a kid, I always thought she was the best mother ever. Point being, I think most stay at home moms/dads go through this. Don't feel guilty about it.

[Naustin]

Dont feel guilty at all!! I sometimes feel as if I dont get anything done but when you look at the facts this ship would not run without us. I have been sick lately so it is REALLY hard for me to be laid up in bed this long. I REALLY feel like I dont do anything.
I am looking for a job now but am so scared I am going to have a panic attack at work. I just began having generalized anxiety after my son was born. It has been very hard because I fear EVERYTHING but I am trying to see the light and have learned so much about myself.

[Mom of 6]

I am a stay at home Mom with two yr. old twin boys...and all I can say is "whewwwww"...Yesterday was chaotic and stressful to say the LEAST! When my husband came home, I was crying and for the FIRST time in a LONGGGG time, I "melted down" in front of him. His response was " I understand what your going through Honey, I'm here for you"...He went on to say other reassurring things, and I felt good about "talking" to him. I'm realizing that LIFE has it's twists and turns, that will never stop, however, when I allow myself to vent and release the stress, my outlook seems more positive. This is NOT an easy job. I did it over 20 yrs ago when my older four were little. I realize now, why I had panic/depression back then. I was sooooo young and naive. I didn't have a clue about parenting. This is my opportunity to do it all over again NOW that I have some tools in my belt However, it doesn't mean that I am NOT going to have some bad days...I now have 'coping skills" and I've finally stopped "panicking" over everything! The only thing that I can really say is that I NEVER really take time for "ME". I still struggle with "thinking" that I must be here for everyone..I forget that I am important and taking that day to myself to pamper ME is a MUST(for sanity sake ). So, with that being said, I MUST do this for myself! It's a goal, but I must be patient, living in the moment.."One day at a time, sweet Jesus"...
Thank you for listening and God bless you all
Robin