Any other stay at home moms ready to lose their mind!

Stefanie5 · Post by **Stefanie5** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:05 am

I know the feelings your talking about all too well. I have 5 kids ages ranging between 17 and 8. I was a stay at home mom up until about 2 years ago. I loved being able to stay home with my kids. It was so important for me to be home with them. But at the same time, there were times when I thought I would completely loose my mind. My husband has always worked some pretty long hours. And lets face it when the kids are small there's not much conversation going on there. Sometimes it felt like my own house was a prison. When I did get the chance to go out on my own I never knew what to do with myself. I think because those times alone maybe don't happen all that often we feel let down because it just didn't live up to what we were hoping for. I don't know if that makes any sense. It took me a long time to realize that I shouldn't expect too much from my time without the kids. Try not to anticipate what you might do or where you might go. Just go with the flow. Sometimes even though it doesn't sound like much just going out a taking a walk around the block and having a cup of tea after can make the world of difference. I also know the guilt you feel sometimes when you do get the chance to go out alone. You feel like you shouldn't want to get away from your kids. I believe it's more normal to want some time away than not to want it. We all need some time to ourselves, just to clear our heads. Get a new outlook on things. You appreciate what you have at home more when you have a chance to be away even just for a couple of hours. And wanting that time is NOTHING to feel guilty about. It does nothing but good for both you and your family.

flyingmom · Post by **flyingmom** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:51 pm

Has anyone else heard about the MOMS Club? MOMS stands for Moms Offering Moms Support. I found out about it when my son was three - I wish I had known about it sooner. It was a way to get out of the house and talk to other Moms while our kids played. When you go from working full time to staying home full time, its hard to find other moms in the same boat.

Now that my son is 6 we aren't as involved, but the connections we made and local parenting resources we found out about were invaluable.

We didn't attend the monthly meetings - too anxiety provoking for me and my shy son didn't appreciate them either. BUT the monthly newsletter is chock full of opportunities to meet and interact with other stay at home moms and their kids. There is also a Mom's Night Out once a month - I've only attended 2 - eating in restaurants can be anxiety producing for me - and I found the family stuff during the day to be more of what I/he needed.

You might give it a try.

A Silver · Post by **A Silver** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 4:14 am

I can completely relate to so much of what everyone is saying on here about staying at home W/ kids. I was a stay at home mom for almost six years until my daughter started school. Shortly after she was born was when my anxiety & panic started. I was afraid to be home alone with her all day because when my panic & anxiety was at its worse I would constantly fear something awful would happen to me and she would be alone. For several years as soon as my husband would leave for work, I would get her & myself ready and we would stay at my mother's house until my husband got off from work. I lost out on so much bonding time, because I was always worring about EVERYTHING! Another reason I wouldn't stay at my home was because there had been a shooting close to my house at the time. Even though everyone involved had been arrested it still teriffied me. After she started school I actually gained enough confidence to go back to college and get a job with our local school system. I now work the same hours she is in school and even though I am working at a different school I still take & pick her up eveyday. I do not regret staying home for those years I just wish I had been able to enjoy them more. I still struggle with anxiety & panic everyday, however, somehow working around other adults & children eveyday and having a steady schedule seems to help. I agree that being a stay at home mom is the hardest but most rewarding job!!
God Bless!

Lynskie · Post by **Lynskie** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:59 am

Hi Kris 10. I'm new here today, but when I read the first two sentences you wrote, I thought we were twins. My daughter just turned 5 and my son 3. I'm a stay at home mom & grateful to be too and guilty when stressed too. I'm stressing about "Kindergarten" starting soon. My IBS is in overdrive today. I'm doubting if I "belong" here. I'm not confiding in my husband about the program yet, but I also think he would benefit from it too, but also have an even harder time than me of admitting to it. I constantly struggle with what to do with my time and not having enough of it. In fact, the guilt is kicking in now for doing this instead of laundry, etc.. Did you also think being at home would give you the time to do everything you wanted and keep the house perfect, etc... only to find the total opposite? I feel overwhelmed and under-accomplished most of the time. It's definately reassuring to find people that feel the same way. But I'm also afraid I'll bable on forever now that I've found people who can relate! I've looked at postings several times before today, but am always to chicken to respond until now. Have you found these forums helpful?

Nicholene · Post by **Nicholene** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:40 am

I have been a stay at home Mom for 12 years. (just started working part time a few months ago) My kids ages are a 12 yr old two 11 yr olds and a 7 yr old. It was very hard, exspecially when they were babys. I too was gratefull that I was able to stay home but It can drive you a little crazy and flair up the anxiety. Here are some things I did to stay calm. I joined a gym with a great child care area. My kids loved to go when they were little because it got them out too. Not to mention keeping myself in shape. Exercise is like therapy for me. I walked alot with my tripple stoller with headphones and MY music, and later rollerbladed while they rode bikes with traing wheels. And the best thing i did was to join a mothers group. The first one was through the hospital and then the Moms that clicked, we formed our own group and would rotate houses or go to the parks. Dont get me wrong it was hard to not feel isolated at times but now that my kids are getting bigger and more independent I REALLY miss those days. So try to get out and make the best because it does go by way way way too fast. Hope I helped a little. Hugs Nicki

Mindi · Post by **Mindi** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:06 pm

I too struggle with being a stay at home mom. I LOVE my kids and I LOVE my job but I get tired of the same mundane things...day in and day out. I have a 3 1/2 little girl and a 2 year old little girl. They are such a joy. I don't understand why I feel the way I feel...I just do. I wish there was more we could do around the house to keep things from being so mundane. We go swimming in our 3 ft pool but that's about all the "fun" we do. The girls don't seem to mind...they just go in their rooms and play and have a good ol time. But I just get tired of cleaning, taking care of them, and cleaning some more. I can't wait until it gets a little cooler so that we can go to the park and do more things outside. The triple digit temps just don't make it easy to do things...

Mindi

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:37 pm

My kids like to help cooking- stirring bascially. Sometimes we make a blank page for all grandparents, uncles, etc and color and do stickers. We practice songs with the little one with hand motions and teach her animal noises, like meow and ruff.Plus we have some flowers and veges planted they help water. If I can think of any more "fun" stuff- I'll let you know. I too get tired of the day in, day out routine. It's hard to always think of new things to do.

Nole · Post by **Nole** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:42 am

I totally understand. I think being a stay at home mom has also triggered some of my anxiety as I am always by myself with little adult interaction and some days are just plain old boring.

I love being able to stay home but also feel like a slave to my child. I try to get out and do activities as much as I can with him to help the day pass. I find I always feel better on the weekends when my husband is home and I get more help.

I also make time for myslef during the day. I have found this to help alot, I also have found enjoyment in reading books to pass some of the time.

Shelly9 · Post by **Shelly9** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 3:15 pm

I'm too a stay at home mom with a 5 year old and 2 year old. I am so stressed right now on top of my depression i seriously feel like im going crazy. Im so scared that one day i wont be able to take it anymore i might take it out on the kids. I love my kids so much and they are my pride and joy but when im depressed i just want to be alone and curled up into a ball. I know what im going thru is affecting my kids and its hurting me so much. Right now im agoraphobic and never went farther then 4 minutes away from home since March. It hurts me so much that i cant enjoy the out doors with my kids. If they want to go somewhere i let my boyfriend take them out. and i seriously wish i can go but just the body symtoms hold me back. SO far now i feel like i dont know what to do anymore. I have so much dreams in my life like getting better and living a life i did before but then i feel like it wont ever get better and be what it was. Its so heart breaken.

Mindi · Post by **Mindi** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 3:40 pm

Shelly,

Oh how I can empathize with you in regards to the depression!! As far as the agoraphobia I can not personally understand but I know there are many on here who can. What session are you on in the program? One of the things that I have learned so far is that it's just anxeity. I know that the physical effects feel like it's so much more but in reality it's just anexity. Something that I learned in session 2 was to tell yourself that when you are going through the panic attack or anxiety attack. Do you carry your cards along with you? The cards REALLY helped me get through some of my social issues I was having. Maybe you can take your 5 year old for a walk around the block or something while your boyfriend watches your other one. As your walking tell yourself "It's just anxiety" and carry on a conversation about the things you see with your child. Once you get accustomed to that venture out and go a little bit further. Continue to carry on the conversation so that you have something distracting all those thoughts that haunt you. You WILL get better!! This program WORKS!! Sure you will have some bad days...and that's just fine...it's normal! But, the longer you do this program the easier life will become. Just keep telling yourself...it's just anexity. Something that Dr Fisher said in the seesion on Panic attacks was that nobody has ever died from a panic attack. And isn't that reassuring??

Take it slow and I PROMISE you WILL get through this!! I'm here for you and I know everyone else on here is here for you too!!