I have a son who just turned 3 and a daughter who just turned 5. I feel so guilty complaining. I am so fortunate to be able to stay home with them.
My anxiety has been so bad lately. I'm coming out of this depression slowly thanks to starting a new medication.
It's like I can't stand being home and stuck in the house. I'm so ready for the warm weather! I try to hang out with friends and their kids but there are days no one is around. I feel lost, like I can't deal if I don't have plans. Then a part of me hates to make plans bc I don't know how I'll feel or if I'll be too anxious to go somewhere. Then my IBS kicks in and just makes everything worse.
I just feel so bad how my moods are effecting my kids. I know they think somethings going on. My hubby is always working.
As much as I want a little break from them I have a hard time. The had preschool this morning for 3hrs. I was so anxious what I was going to do with myself. It's horrible....a double edged sword.
Anyone else feeling this way???
Any other stay at home moms ready to lose their mind!
Kris10,
I stayed at home with my daughter intil she began pre-k and didn't have a job intil then and my anxiety was real bad. We get so use to the same old thing day after day and it seems like nothing is new in our life. I know what you mean. I would find something to do with my time like playing a game or going for a walk or joining something that would give me outside conversations. I know that it is hard and everyone needs a break at one point or another for them, if you don't take care of you then how can you take care of your family. Maybe finding a babysitter for a few hours might help. I know that I had my mom watch my daughter for a few hours once just to get out of the house and it helped out alot. The anxiety went away and I got to go do something that I needed to get done. You sound like all of your focus is on your kids and none on yourself. You should go do something for you! I know that your kids are everything to do but sometimes it is hard to not see that you also need alone time and time for yourself. That took me awhile to understand myself. But putting yourself first will help you to feel better and then your time with your kids will be more enjoyable! I hope this helps. God bless!
Jennifier
I stayed at home with my daughter intil she began pre-k and didn't have a job intil then and my anxiety was real bad. We get so use to the same old thing day after day and it seems like nothing is new in our life. I know what you mean. I would find something to do with my time like playing a game or going for a walk or joining something that would give me outside conversations. I know that it is hard and everyone needs a break at one point or another for them, if you don't take care of you then how can you take care of your family. Maybe finding a babysitter for a few hours might help. I know that I had my mom watch my daughter for a few hours once just to get out of the house and it helped out alot. The anxiety went away and I got to go do something that I needed to get done. You sound like all of your focus is on your kids and none on yourself. You should go do something for you! I know that your kids are everything to do but sometimes it is hard to not see that you also need alone time and time for yourself. That took me awhile to understand myself. But putting yourself first will help you to feel better and then your time with your kids will be more enjoyable! I hope this helps. God bless!
Jennifier
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bevhembree
- Posts: 275
- Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:44 am
I felt exactly like you. I dreaded each day, each hour. My husband worked long hours with a 45 minutes communte. Seems I couldn't stand it until he got home. I've been home two years. I'm dealing with it better. I started trying recipes- one little one at a time. I've picked up a few books to help me through baby's nap time. It's warm enough here to start with flowers. I signed up on this website to get every new post, so that takes up some time. I do two household chores a day- vaccum, laundry, dust, etc. It's scheduled out to break the monotny. I still feel myself watching the clock. If the time isn't filled, I tend to panic. I have a tv schedule to help pass the day. It's on all the time and it helps me by listening to it. You are not alone. By the grace of God and some good meds, I think I'm going to make it.
"Here and happy because of my three little angels- Marie, Chad and Cady."
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Believer08
- Posts: 107
- Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:47 pm
Jennifier is absoloutely CORRECT! In your entire message the focus was not about lifting yourself up...empowering yourself....it was "What do I do with the Kids"!!!
I too am a stay at home mom...I have a 9 year old in school all day PRAISE THE LORD!! and I am at home with an 11 month that I have come to realize is the trigger for anxiety for me...Why? BECAUSE I HAVE NO TIME FOR MYSELF. Its like a fight to create peace or a moment to BREATHE. So I had to make a choice and with God's help he gave me some IMPECCABLE wisdom. First I have no family or friends here. The neighbors I know all work just like my husband. Is that a focus...no its a pity party talk...why? Because I am responsible for my own happiness. Children are happy regardless of situations or circumstances....thats the way we are suppose to be. Unfortunately as adults we taught ourselves different. So I had to create opportunities here in Michigan where it snows and its COLD...and I'm originally from California....Big change uh? We now attend Gymboree when we feel like it....I just last week joined the mommmy's club which does have a website to vent and be creative with other moms. Not being able to breathe and feeling trapped will create some form of anxiety....but to know psycologically you have options difuses the anxiety because you feel now you have control....Xanax always helps...but I learned prayer is more powerful and I get results not just a temporary calmness.....Try also clicking on the spiritual links here. They are very inspiring and uplifting......Have a blessed day!!
I too am a stay at home mom...I have a 9 year old in school all day PRAISE THE LORD!! and I am at home with an 11 month that I have come to realize is the trigger for anxiety for me...Why? BECAUSE I HAVE NO TIME FOR MYSELF. Its like a fight to create peace or a moment to BREATHE. So I had to make a choice and with God's help he gave me some IMPECCABLE wisdom. First I have no family or friends here. The neighbors I know all work just like my husband. Is that a focus...no its a pity party talk...why? Because I am responsible for my own happiness. Children are happy regardless of situations or circumstances....thats the way we are suppose to be. Unfortunately as adults we taught ourselves different. So I had to create opportunities here in Michigan where it snows and its COLD...and I'm originally from California....Big change uh? We now attend Gymboree when we feel like it....I just last week joined the mommmy's club which does have a website to vent and be creative with other moms. Not being able to breathe and feeling trapped will create some form of anxiety....but to know psycologically you have options difuses the anxiety because you feel now you have control....Xanax always helps...but I learned prayer is more powerful and I get results not just a temporary calmness.....Try also clicking on the spiritual links here. They are very inspiring and uplifting......Have a blessed day!!
Oh yeah, I hear you. In fact, you can read my temper snapped post to feel just a little more in good company! 
Here's a funny story, Effie, my 15 month old daughter, is totally addicted to her pascifier. I want her to lose it for naps, so today I put her in her crib without it and she spent the next, oh I dont know, hour and a half, wailing like her life was in jepordy. So I finally go in there because I just cant take it anymore, (Im so weak, I know) and she's dragged her 6 little teeth along the top of the wooden bar of her crib and scraped the stain off the whole thing!...can you say psycho?
I think I'll hang onto the program for when she hits adolescence.
Keep in mind too, that this is a particularly bad winter. I cant go anywhere without people mentioning how crappy they feel and how the cold and snow are getting the better of them. It's bad, but it WILL be over soon!
It will be nice when we can go outside again and enjoy the nice day instead of being cooped up.
Its kinda silly, but for some reason Ive had this quote in my head for the past few weeks and it makes me feel better to say it.
From the fish on Finding Nemo, (Im such a dork), "Just keep swimming, swim swim swimming"
I think I like it because it makes me chuckle when i say it in my head, never gets old...
So THINK SPRING and remember, you'll feel better soon...hey how far along the program are you?
Ooh, maybe you could join a fun class in the morning when your kids go to preschool! Something non-mommy-related preferrably. And make sure its something that you really really like so you wont want to back out of it at the last second; swimming, pottery, stich and bitch, (though Im not sure wine and mornings mesh well), maybe just go sit in Panera and get a good Marie Claire magazine and a tea and a bagel and enjoy sitting for more than 5 minutes uninterrupted! That could be good for you!
I hope you feel some relief soon, I'm pulling for ya!
Marcy
Here's a funny story, Effie, my 15 month old daughter, is totally addicted to her pascifier. I want her to lose it for naps, so today I put her in her crib without it and she spent the next, oh I dont know, hour and a half, wailing like her life was in jepordy. So I finally go in there because I just cant take it anymore, (Im so weak, I know) and she's dragged her 6 little teeth along the top of the wooden bar of her crib and scraped the stain off the whole thing!...can you say psycho?
I think I'll hang onto the program for when she hits adolescence. Keep in mind too, that this is a particularly bad winter. I cant go anywhere without people mentioning how crappy they feel and how the cold and snow are getting the better of them. It's bad, but it WILL be over soon!
It will be nice when we can go outside again and enjoy the nice day instead of being cooped up.
Its kinda silly, but for some reason Ive had this quote in my head for the past few weeks and it makes me feel better to say it.
From the fish on Finding Nemo, (Im such a dork), "Just keep swimming, swim swim swimming"
I think I like it because it makes me chuckle when i say it in my head, never gets old...
So THINK SPRING and remember, you'll feel better soon...hey how far along the program are you?
Ooh, maybe you could join a fun class in the morning when your kids go to preschool! Something non-mommy-related preferrably. And make sure its something that you really really like so you wont want to back out of it at the last second; swimming, pottery, stich and bitch, (though Im not sure wine and mornings mesh well), maybe just go sit in Panera and get a good Marie Claire magazine and a tea and a bagel and enjoy sitting for more than 5 minutes uninterrupted! That could be good for you!
I hope you feel some relief soon, I'm pulling for ya!
Marcy
Winter is new for me; it's only my second one....a co-worker of mine told me, "no winter lasts forever and no season skips Spring". I keep repeating that whenever I look outside. LOL.
I wasn't home with my kids for very long (my husband is a stay-at-home dad), but I gotta say....NOBODY has a harder job than you guys. It is the single most selfless job anyone can do. It's hard; there's no breaks, you don't go home at 5:00 and you're on call 24/7.
My husband went through a serious funk when he started staying at home. It was a really hard adjustment for him. Ours are school age now, so he's gone back to school.
Just interacting with other adults - that doesn't discuss or talk about kids - can really help. It's that "you" time that we all need. It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes...and what's healthy for us is healthy for our kids.
I wasn't home with my kids for very long (my husband is a stay-at-home dad), but I gotta say....NOBODY has a harder job than you guys. It is the single most selfless job anyone can do. It's hard; there's no breaks, you don't go home at 5:00 and you're on call 24/7.
My husband went through a serious funk when he started staying at home. It was a really hard adjustment for him. Ours are school age now, so he's gone back to school.
Just interacting with other adults - that doesn't discuss or talk about kids - can really help. It's that "you" time that we all need. It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes...and what's healthy for us is healthy for our kids.
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Believer08
- Posts: 107
- Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:47 pm
KitKat you are so right. I just recently met a nice female friend. For once I visited her without the kids and I felt so calm...so peaceful...better than any day with Xanax. I really didn't want to go home.....but the love for them made me. Thank you for that wonderful input and the reassurance that we all need.
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susiesjourney
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 12:45 pm
My children are 10, 11, and 13. I felt just like you did. Looking back and recently trying to change my anger, depression and inability to enjoy the moment I started the program. I was driving down the road and saw a mother enjoying time with her toddler and I felt horrible. I did not take time to enjoy the moments of my children. I did not sit and treasure the moments to play with them. The moments are gone and now I work. I adore my kids I am ashamed I did not learn earlier to make the most of our treasured time with happy and innocent children. I have instilled a lot of my anger and stress into my children at this point and anxiety. I know am on the road to fix myself and to help them see my mistakes, help them to get through life better than I did and most importantly learn to slow down, relax and enjoy the moment. As a stay home mom I was always stressing about what needed to get done, trying to make the future time easier stressing to keep everything clean and meals ready. I lost so much not just sitting and watching them. Enjoy the moments,,in a blink they are grown.
Hi,
I'm a stay at home myself, and I know what you are feeling, sometimes I just want to runaway from it all, and forget everything. We need our "self time", but lately I don't that, if I go in my room, my kids follow me, if I go to the bathroom, one of them is there, I have 3 kids, ages are 19, 6, and 13 months old, my 19 yr old moved out, but now he is moving back in, maybe I can get a little help from him which would be nice. my 6 yr old goes to school, so that's a big help, but then it's just me and the baby, and sometimes it's so hard to get anything done around here, because she always wants my attention, and that is the hardest part. I can't wait for it to get warmer, then I can bring them to the park, and not be cooped up in the house, for me I get to take a walk in the morning when I bring my 6 yr old to school, I have 10 minutes alone when I walk home, it's nice and I listen to my ipod, this is the longest I have stayed home, I've been home since last august, and sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself, I try and do other things, maybe a puzzle or what have you, but can't. All my friends work during the day, so I can't call them for a visit, wish I could, then I would get out of the house more often.
I'm a stay at home myself, and I know what you are feeling, sometimes I just want to runaway from it all, and forget everything. We need our "self time", but lately I don't that, if I go in my room, my kids follow me, if I go to the bathroom, one of them is there, I have 3 kids, ages are 19, 6, and 13 months old, my 19 yr old moved out, but now he is moving back in, maybe I can get a little help from him which would be nice. my 6 yr old goes to school, so that's a big help, but then it's just me and the baby, and sometimes it's so hard to get anything done around here, because she always wants my attention, and that is the hardest part. I can't wait for it to get warmer, then I can bring them to the park, and not be cooped up in the house, for me I get to take a walk in the morning when I bring my 6 yr old to school, I have 10 minutes alone when I walk home, it's nice and I listen to my ipod, this is the longest I have stayed home, I've been home since last august, and sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself, I try and do other things, maybe a puzzle or what have you, but can't. All my friends work during the day, so I can't call them for a visit, wish I could, then I would get out of the house more often.
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Still Kickin
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:08 pm
Up until last fall I felt like I was losing my mind as a stay at home MOM. I did homeschool my son-14-a couple of yrs. and that really took all my time. But, last fall for some reason I started closing my bedrm door-and when it got opened anyway-I started locking it. Not for a long period of time but just for a bit-I call it "going to the mountain time. 
" I also have that time after 10 at night until I decide to go to sleep-if I can. It has greatly decreased my stress level. It would be harder to do with babies tho-is there anytime they are asleep during the day that you could get a little you time?
But, even tho I do get that time-I feel guilty for taking the time to post on here-esp. if there is anything else that needs my attention. I got so upset last night-I hope I never have to go down that rd again-as I posted on here to a woman that is "trying not" to get involved with a married man w/kids. My son didn't know what I was so upset about-that took way too much energy-and I prob made sev more enemies with that post too. I wish I had never read that post or that I could have ignored it. The subject line just said....sticky situation...so I didn't know I was opening a can of worms until I read about 1/2 of it. then my blood began to boil-my Dad left my Mom and 5 of us for a younger woman at work-after being married to Mom 25 yrs. And all that ole pain came to the surface and I let her have it all. I was so tired when I finished that post I had to call it a day and vowed to myself I would NOT ever get back on the site again. I would work the program and not do the forums.
Thank God an old friend I hadn't seen in forever just out of the blue stopped by just after church today and now I am alot better-I got an email on this subject and decided to try again. I think I will do better just staying on the parenting and prayer forums-I can post on chronic illness and IBS at 51 I have had these problems for 9 yrs. now. I am a widow now for almost 6 yrs.
Staying home isn't for everybody for sure. But, I guess it is 2nd nature to me as my Mom stayed home with all of us. We had a big neighborhood tho and we were always outside with other kids. We would take turns staying at each other's houses! It was GREAT! My Mom got her time. but, nowadays we can't turn our kids loose so much. I live in a good neighborhood the school is a rock's throw and there's lots of monkey bars and swings and basketball goals-my son loves to skateboard there too-but recently we had a man here who was convicted of molesting a little girl-he didn't reg when he got out of jail. the law enforsement notified the public about him-they finally found him-he and his wife were sleeping in a van and guess where? They would move every night to a diff public park! here and to the surrounding towns they would spend the night and move to another one by nightfall the next night. So, NObody let's their kids out of sight. It is a shame.
Well, I haven't any suggestions-just wanted you to know you aren't alone! LOL LOL LOL
We just have to be creative when it comes to surviving with our kids! My G-daughter is 6-my duaghter works-I mentioned to her recently how much her brother is doing for himself now-he has to with all my phys. problems-she says-she can't wait till her daughter can do those things! I assured her the time would come and it would come really FAST! It does. They are babies for what seems like forever until they are grown and then it seems like they were never little!
I don't know if I helped any-today I am not so sure I should even be on this site after last night! I would prob make someone who was already sick-sicker. I got one reply to that post and I don't even remember who it was from-it wasn't a very positive reply tho-so who knows maybe this isn't for me. I am so tired of being alone.
Take it Easy,
Deb^J^
" I also have that time after 10 at night until I decide to go to sleep-if I can. It has greatly decreased my stress level. It would be harder to do with babies tho-is there anytime they are asleep during the day that you could get a little you time?But, even tho I do get that time-I feel guilty for taking the time to post on here-esp. if there is anything else that needs my attention. I got so upset last night-I hope I never have to go down that rd again-as I posted on here to a woman that is "trying not" to get involved with a married man w/kids. My son didn't know what I was so upset about-that took way too much energy-and I prob made sev more enemies with that post too. I wish I had never read that post or that I could have ignored it. The subject line just said....sticky situation...so I didn't know I was opening a can of worms until I read about 1/2 of it. then my blood began to boil-my Dad left my Mom and 5 of us for a younger woman at work-after being married to Mom 25 yrs. And all that ole pain came to the surface and I let her have it all. I was so tired when I finished that post I had to call it a day and vowed to myself I would NOT ever get back on the site again. I would work the program and not do the forums.
Thank God an old friend I hadn't seen in forever just out of the blue stopped by just after church today
and now I am alot better-I got an email on this subject and decided to try again. I think I will do better just staying on the parenting and prayer forums-I can post on chronic illness and IBS at 51 I have had these problems for 9 yrs. now. I am a widow now for almost 6 yrs. Staying home isn't for everybody for sure. But, I guess it is 2nd nature to me as my Mom stayed home with all of us. We had a big neighborhood tho and we were always outside with other kids. We would take turns staying at each other's houses! It was GREAT! My Mom got her time. but, nowadays we can't turn our kids loose so much. I live in a good neighborhood the school is a rock's throw and there's lots of monkey bars and swings and basketball goals-my son loves to skateboard there too-but recently we had a man here who was convicted of molesting a little girl-he didn't reg when he got out of jail. the law enforsement notified the public about him-they finally found him-he and his wife were sleeping in a van and guess where? They would move every night to a diff public park! here and to the surrounding towns they would spend the night and move to another one by nightfall the next night. So, NObody let's their kids out of sight. It is a shame.
Well, I haven't any suggestions-just wanted you to know you aren't alone! LOL LOL LOL
We just have to be creative when it comes to surviving with our kids! My G-daughter is 6-my duaghter works-I mentioned to her recently how much her brother is doing for himself now-he has to with all my phys. problems-she says-she can't wait till her daughter can do those things! I assured her the time would come and it would come really FAST! It does. They are babies for what seems like forever until they are grown and then it seems like they were never little!
I don't know if I helped any-today I am not so sure I should even be on this site after last night! I would prob make someone who was already sick-sicker. I got one reply to that post and I don't even remember who it was from-it wasn't a very positive reply tho-so who knows maybe this isn't for me. I am so tired of being alone.
Take it Easy,
Deb^J^
A good thing about having Fibromyalgia is...
it's made "bed head" fashionable!
it's made "bed head" fashionable!