anxious to be with kids

cl1006 · Post by **cl1006** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:10 am

I am new to the program. I am only on week 2. I am started to relize that I am suffering from my anxiety when I know I am going to be with the kids by myself. The problem with this is my husband is gone 14 days out of the month so I am responsible for them by my self alot. I have tried to cut back on my commitments but with 4 very active kids I am having a hard time. I love my kids and I hate that I am afraid I can't take care of them because of the physical symtoms I feel with my anxiety. Can anybody relate?

had enough · Post by **had enough** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:22 am

Hi. I have a young child and work part time. My husband travels time to time so time is scarece. I hired a college girl to give me some "mommy time" so I could focus on me occasionally

mwgirl · Post by **mwgirl** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:29 am

Hello. I can definitly relate. When my husband would be away my anxiety went through the roof. I would be so scared of being home with my kids. I'd have scary thoughts of losing control and hurting them, or of something happening that I wouldn't be able to take care of them.

Realize it's just your anxiety scaring you. You are a capable and competent mother of 4 active children. You can do it.

Hopefully you have the program. Keep reviewing the relaxtion tape and tapes 2 and 3 on panic attacks and negative thinking. Try and take a little time for yourself while your husbands away.

Take care and God Bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:38 am

Hi I understand how you feel. I also have 4 kids although the oldest is 19. But still at home and going to college. Anyways I am a stay at home mom and have to be the one to do all the activities ect. I have started having a problem with driving I get really anxious and alot of anxiety and it sometimes goes into a panic attack. My kids don't know about it and I just feel so bad as a mom like I am letting them down. I see all these other mom's so involved and outgoing and I feel so alone. I wish I could be like them and that is one of the reasons I ordered the program is to become a better mom, wife and just learn the life skills. I have always been on the shy side and I know that doesn't help the situation but when I am around these other ladies I feel so beneath them and I don't even know them. It must be me being insecure. Any advice would help. I just hope to get better. cl006 I know we learn alot from this program and it will help us with all the responsibility of taking care of kids and everything in general. I am working on session 2 as well. I had started the program in feb. and made it to session 5 and that was it so I am starting again and hoping this time it will really kick in and I will change. Mamma Maria that is great advice finding someone so you can have some time for you. My kids are all in school now so I am hoping to benefit from the time and work this program through. On my way to feeling better and recovering from this depression and anxiety.

dlcottage · Post by **dlcottage** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 1:36 pm

I can completely relate to you as well. My husband is a firefighter who works 12 hour shifts, 6 days out of the week. With commute time, we rarely see him at all. It's very challenging to take care of the kids all by myself, especially when they're so young and fiesty these days, lol.

I don't have much advice as I'm new to trying to figure out this whole thing, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone. HUGS!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:58 am

I remember hating that feeling too.

We love our kids soooo much we get nervous about not being perfect.This is a very normal feeling for us. Don`t be afraid of it.Everything will be fine. The more you worry about it the worse you will feel. Kids can be very self sufficient. If you are having a bad day,make the kids stay in the yard so you don`t have to worry about them. If they are small,keep them in a playpen or block them in the same room with you so you can see or hear them at all times. Been raising kids for 20 years with this anxiety.Sucks but you figure it out. And you`ll learn to get over your shortcomings. Take care and don`t worry.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Sep 26, 2008 3:49 am

Thank you for all of you that have responded. It helps to know I am not alone

Zoogirl · Post by **Zoogirl** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:20 am

I am no stranger to this. I start getting scary obsessive thoughts in the morning when my husband leaves for work and I am home alone with my son. My anxiety worsens when I face the problem head on. I feel like I am just gonna lose it. My negative 'voices' start rolling on and I get more anxiety. Anyone have pointers and advices. I also can't sleep well at night. I seen my psychologist and she said that I have OCD. I just started meds. I feel like that too, like i can't take care of him because of my physical symptoms. Anyone can e-mail me at ormitaohana@yahoo.com

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:55 pm

I can totally relate. I had this problem so bad I had to put my son in daycare because I couldn't handle taking care of him. That was 2 1/2 years ago. I got the program in Nov. 2006 and it worked. It saved me and now I am just fine. If you don't have this program, get it. It gave me my life back and allowed me to be the Mom I wanted to be.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:01 am

Interesting. I just logged onto this today and started the program a few weeks ago, and I was secretly searching for someone that had a similar problem, since the program has not mentioned someone with my scenario I wasn't sure I fit the mold. I was pleased to see cl1006 described me to a tee, it seems.

I am a working mom of two - 2 and 3 year old. I cannot for the life of me see what is bothering me or could lead to all this depression and now anxiety. I have, what would appear, the perfect life. I started to feel depressed when my second daughter was about 6 months old (so that's about 2 years ago) and last Oct the stress and depression turned physical and I guess could be considered anxiety now. I assume this b/c I used to just feel down, tired and sad and now it's panicky. I've only started to see one main trigger... when I know I will have to be alone with the kids. I am also overwhelmed with guilt. Guilty for having them in daycare when I know they are ok there and I do like working. I don't think I could be a good stay at home mom = not good for them. I don't get a lot of joy while around them and this saddens me to the core. I look for reasons to be away from them and then I feel guilty. I've tried doing more for myself and it hasn't really helped. (Although I see the logic in it so I continue). I wonder when I'll come out of this - when they are past toddler-hood? The younger one is very trying! My frustration lies in the fact that I WAS a very outgoing, extraverted, powerful, confident, funny, positive person and example to my friends, as recent as two years ago and I cannot get it back! My anxiety has morphed into panicky feelings about social situations, constant thoughts about me and what is going on in my head - when will it end, when will I feel less guilt, etc. I am obsessed with being the perfect mom. (I used to loathe the perfect mom type - now I strive to be one). I can't really see anymore what is just ok and what is an absolute with child rearing.

I wonder how cl1006 is doing now since her post was in Sept of last year. Any tips?

I don't have a lot of the feelings described on the tapes, i.e. the lack of self worth (only with parenting, otherwise, I feel very confident) and panic attacks, so I still doubt every day if it will work, but I am determined to help myself without meds so I persevere. I have always felt more depressed than anxious. Is this program for me?