Growth Spurt with BF who has kids

[lilsismj]

My BF and I have been dating for about seven months now. He has three kids, 50% custody. The kids just learned in the last two weeks that I'm daddy's girlfriend. We wanted to go by the kids timeclock on how we moved forward. But here's the problem.

Instead of being able to make this commitment ONE DAY AT A TIME...I feel like if we are incorporting the kids now, I should be 100% sure that I am going to marry and make a family with this man.

That isn't logical, I know, because I have to be able to see how life would/will be being in a 50% family w/kids setting, but I feel guilty taking my time when there are kids involved. I am afraid that I no longer have the choice of saying "This isn't what I want."

I really do believe that this is the man that I want to be with. I know that I am nervous because of my anxious nature and that I will most likely lose the fear as I continue to move through each anticipatory wall. Again though, this makes me feel selfish because I feel like i am playing with other peoples lives.

I know that no one going into a relationship is 100% sure and I wouldn't feel this way if it were just me and BF...but again there are kids involved. So I'm having some issues getting my head around this.

Advice?

[monty'smom]

I don't know if you read but this book is AWESOME and I have read a lot of books "The Smart Step Family" by Ron L. Deal. The book talks to those whom are already married and those whom are thinking about it. Good Luck